1. Cam Ward, QB Miami, to Tennessee

Cam's journey got a little overshadowed by the question of Shadeur, and the trade immediately following his selection. He was considered the overwhelming obvious pick. He REALLY kept it simple and chic here with Boss.

2. Travis Hunter, CB and WR Colorado, to Jacksonville

I don't understand why his blazer needed the extra safety sling. Maybe because he plays two positions, he wanted two ways to fasten his jacket.

3. Abdul Carter, EDGE Penn State, to NY Giants

I had written, "Intriguing -- it's like if the priest at a young, progressive church asked for a high-fashion makeover." Then I read he was inspired by Muslim dress, so I guess the religious vibes I was getting were accurate.

His necklace says INCRDBL. He will use his new contract to buy the missing vowels.

4. Will Campbell, OT LSU, to New England

I enjoy that he went nowhere near his school colors and just picked something unexpectedly snazzy. (No shade to school colors, though.) He needs a hat, and then he could be some kind of Green Gangster from the '30s who preached early climate science. (I read that the shoes are Vuitton but don't know if the suit is, too.)

5. Mason Graham, DT Michigan, to Cleveland

Graham's suit is Abercrombie, but this is neat: That garland is an homage to his high school teammate, Tetairoa McMillan, who is of Polynesian heritage and who also got drafted. It's so nice that their friendship transcended going to different colleges and took them both here.

6. Ashton Jeanty, RB Boise State, to the Raiders

Jeanty DOES have a jaunty "A" pin on his lapel. I like this whole look but would not have finished it with the Crocs -- not even Swarovski ones.

Having said that, lord knows his feet are his moneymakers, and maybe he needed the cushion?

8. Tetairoa McMillan, WR Arizona, to Carolina

Here's the other half of our dynamic high school pal duo, with a very slick garland of his own. I love this purple suit.

12. Tyler Booker, G Alabama, to Dallas

This man is definitely going to offer you a cognac and engage in a little a capella action that will make your spine tingle.

His necklace says T BOOK. I'm not sure he needed that AND his initials in brooch form, but whatever. Men often do so little; go ahead and do the most, Tyler. And I'll take that cognac.

17. Shemar Stewart, EDGE Texas A&M, to Cincinnati

Someone tell this man not to wear that fabric again. If it looks like this BEFORE he spent the night sitting in the green room...

I thought you would appreciate his grill and his angry chain. The Bengals could use some of that attitude, but obviously not when they play the Steelers. I need meek cats on those days.

23. Matthew Golden, WR Texas, to Green Bay

The draft was at Lambeau, so I'm sure it was fun for him to be greeted by his new home fans, and fun for THEM that their draft pick went ALL OUT. I love this, I want to wallpaper a half-bath with it, and I keep thinking the G he's wearing is the Gatorade symbol.

He also came with a whole photo album.

I didn't mean to download both these pictures, but am I SORRY I did it? No, I am not.

27. Malaki Starks, S Georgia, to Baltimore

Someone get this man a purse, or at least ask his parents to hold his phone and his wallet.

I, too, would be powerless to resist a bejeweled version of my own name.

30. Maxwell Hairston, CB Kentucky, to Buffalo

The Bills got charismatic Keon Coleman last year, and then last night picked Hairston, who seems DELIGHTFUL. My mom decided this is her favorite of the night. For me, it tied with Matthew Golden...

... and clearly, they both went to the same suitmaker. (Or, to Shutterfly.)

31. Jihaad Campbell, LB Alabama, to Philly

The Eagles traded up a whopping one place to get him, handing the Chiefs an extra 5th round pick for the pleasure. Rumor is, they tried to trade up all night for him and no one bit on their offer, so they did it here just to make sure no one ELSE could trade up with KC for him. Flattering! Sadly his suit material kind of let him down, but he looks cute.

Will Johnson, CB, Michigan

He's considered the second-best player left, behind Shadeur Sanders. I gather he had some injuries both during the season and on his pro day, so in the end surely he wasn't that surprised? He looks fantastic. So crisp, and that lapel pin is understated but so striking.

QB Jalen Milroe, Alabama

Jalen didn't come off the board, either; it'll be interesting to see when he does. I always feel bad for the guys who show up and don't get picked, but Jalen had to know he wasn't one of the very top guys, and anything after that is always a gamble, because not every team needs a QB. He looks so happy, though. I'm not made of stone. I'm sorry, Jalen! Even if you do play for Alabama!

The Threads of the 2025 NFL Draft

They're a vision, as always.