Ciara

This is surprisingly forgettable from Ciara (she is never without a deep vee and a high slit, so put this in that pantheon and you won't remember it tomorrow). I do like the feline hip brooch, though. Rrowr.

Ciara and Russell Wilson (QB)

I feel like they practiced this in the mirror at home.

Aaron Rodgers (QB)

Well. I hate the beige suit, and his hair is still atrocious. I wonder if Mama Shai is working, or if they really are on a break; this would've been a natural time to show up together, so perhaps she hates his hair as much as I do.

Aaron Rodgers

NO, Aaron. WHAT are you doing. Do you not remember how bad it was when Tom Brady grew out his hair? Learn from your forebears!

Akbar Gbaja-Biamila (former DE, Ninja Warrior Host)

He's like, "Rodgers is gonna be there? I am strapping on my FANCIEST PROTECTION." (Although those vented masks actually don't do as much, right, because of the very concept of vents letting in air? I like it as an IN YOUR FACE statement though.)

Taraji P. Henson (Cookie Lyon)

I miss her bob hairdo, but I like the dress. And the red lip. That's a GOOD shade on her.

Derrick Henry (RB Titans)

Derrick is extremely nattily dressed here. He is like a human bowling ball rolling downhill on the field -- this is a compliment -- and apparently his fashion taste is just as potent.

Michael Irvin (former WR)

Fancy.

JJ, Derek, and TJ Watt

All of the Watts turned up. (TJ won Defensive Player of the Year.) This has a whiff of All Three Hemsworths about it. JJ would be Chris, TJ would be Liam, and Derek in the middle would be Luke, whose name I just had to Google.

Katy Perry (kissed a girl, liked it) and JJ Watt (Cardinals)

"I ALSO had to Google it."

Dak Prescott (QB Cowboys)

Dak! I think you could do better than this; the fit is suspect and socks would be great. Let's get him a jazzy stylist.

LaDainian Tomlinson (former RB)

LDT! He could pass along his stylist's number.

Joseph Baena

This is Arnold's son. I think it's nice that they have a relationship, and Joseph apparently went into bodybuilding himself. He looks handsome.

Justin Reid (S, Texans)

I guess I need to give up hoping for socks.

Aaron Jones (RB Packers)

But I can protest cuffed pants rolled into capris, yes? Although honestly, that looks better to me than the longer pants without socks. My heart wants what it wants.

Darius Leonard (LB Colts)

Now THIS is some good stuff.

DeVonta Smith (WR Eagles)

He looks like he decided he hated his tie and ripped it off in the car.

Emmitt Smith (former RB)

Well, I'm not a big fan of mixing black and blue except in really special circumstances, and this... is not one.

Travis Kelce (TE Chiefs) and Kayla Nicole

This suit is A MESS. Proportions are terrible, color is bad, he's swimming in it. Imagine what size it is if a professional tight end who is 6'5". 260 lbs., is swimming in it. I am fascinated by Kayla's shoes.

Victor Cruz (former WR)

I don't love this look without a shirt.

Kurt (former QB) and Brenda Warner

I really enjoy their matching hair.

Mark Wahlberg (burger impresario)

Mark, the 'stache is silly.

Rebel Wilson (once had malaria)

This is a boring LBD to me, and yes, I know you can see her shoulder pads, and STILL somehow it's a snore.

Cole Maness (cyclist) and Erika Christensen (Scientologist)

Erika looks nice, but... is his jacket a Popeye cartoon?

Jarrett Payton, Brittney Payton, and Connie Payton

This is the family of the late Walter Payton, after whom the NFL's Man of the Year award is named. They all look lovely, and I'm sure this is an emotional way to remember him every year.

Deebo Samuel (WR 49ers)

This suit does not fit and it really honestly looks like it might have started its life as a pair of scrubs, but I love a man who embraces ... I guess one might call them lapel pins. I call them brooches.

Jason Kelce (C, Eagles)

Suspenders are a fun change of pace. I hope he did a magic trick.

Zuri Hall (anglng for Playtex contract)

It's hot in LA right now, but I still think she could have done a deep dive into pants.

Cooper Kupp (human brillo pad)

Cooper didn't walk the carpet and I assume it's because he's supposed to play in the Super Bowl on Sunday (he's a Rams WR) and he's supposed to be home sleeping and actively trying not to get Covid. He won Offensive Player of the Year.

Rob Gronkowski (clown)

And then amiable doofus Gronk showed up, with OF COURSE his own image sewn into his jacket. Maybe so he'd remember it was his.

The Super Bowl Festivities Have Begun in Los Angeles

And presumably also the traffic.