Susan Lucci

I own a book "written by" Erica Kane and it involves advice on such items as how to look awesome when you have been wrongfully incarcerated.

Dania Ramirez

I'd like to RIGHTFULLY incarcerate ALL OF THIS.

Jenna Dawan-Tatum

She, on the other hand, looks flat-out flipping amazing.

Heather Graham

And Heather Graham is ageless despite boring shoes.

Vera Farmiga

Something about this is just a weeeee hair off. Not that she looks bad -- she doesn't! - but I want to change something about this and I'm not totally sure what it is.

Not So Casual Fugs and Fabserday: The A&E Upfronts

Spoke #45 in the Neverending Wheel of Upfronts. This portion of the pie -- I'm just mixing metaphors like I'm baking a cake up in here -- does have Susan Lucci, though. [Photos: Getty]