1910
"There is nothing AUTHORITATIVE about not being able to find a damned taxi," she sniffed.
1910
"So THEN Sybil screamed at a policeman on horseback and he gave her a ride all the way uptown and two days later she left her husband."
1911
"When I asked for a bird, I didn't picture something so... BORING. I pictured something more... like a horse, but graceful."
1911
LSD is a hell of a drug.
1912
"The nape of my neck is sneezing, but otherwise I've never been better, darling."
1912
Peyote is a hell of a drug.
1913
Nice try, Maleficent, but we can tell it's you.
1913
Ecstasy is a hell of a drug.
1914
"Do I have to EAT the fruit before I wear it?"
1914
Fragranced ethanol at the local beauty counter is a hell of a drug.
1915
"I've so enjoyed our time together, but do you think it's time we remove the stitches?"
1915
I'd like to understand the physics of what that pink thing is doing.
1916
"Worst holiday photo ever."
1916
Ursula the Sea Witch had to start SOMEWHERE.
1917
The words say VIVE LA FRANCE, but the image says, "I SHALL SUP ON YOUR LIVERS."
1917
It was a bit prickly-looking for a sex toy, but Roberta figured it couldn't be any worse than Alvin, who'd learned what to do from pictures in a magazine he'd read upside-down.
1918
"It's a fundraiser for my foundation, Left Side Permachill Syndrome."
1918
This cover was dedicated to the promise of France coming back to life once the war ended. It's lovely.
1919
"Oh, stop playing coy with the handwarmer and climb onto me, you tomcat."
1919
"Camping was invented by SHITHEADS."
1920
I guess they didn't plow the streets during this minimalist blizzard.
1920
"If you can marry a Schuyler, you're rich, son." "Is it a question of IF, Burr, or which one?"
1921
"Don't bother me. I'm still hatching out of my cocoon."
1921
Dracula threw the WORST parties when during his vegan phase.
1922
At the sound of her children on the stairs, Hilda panicked and tried to hide Santa with her skirt so that no one would know he'd been giving her eleven pipers' worth of piping.
1922
"Feet? Ugh, they're so 1921."
1923
"Where do I end, and the couch begins?" she wondered, not realizing that in 2020 we'd all be having the same exact worry.
1923
"A railing for dogs! How adorable," Maude thought, ten seconds before she spun too fast and toppled to the street below.
1924
"Goodbye Maude," Juliette wept. "I shall miss the way you sneered at safety precautions."
1924
Hallucinogens plus your large intestine = this cover.
1925
"On the count of ten, turn around. First to hurl her martini gets to wear the dress."
1925
"Dear God," she breathed. "I've done it. I've discovered eyebrows that are timeless and magnificent and will never ever go out of style."
1926
Worst. Murder mystery party. Ever.
1926
"Well it takes a LOT of plucking but I'm still absolutely slaying the brow trend."
1927
This is weird but I love it. She's like a trippy forest nymph.
1927
"Sometimes... in a darker moment... I do dream of a life when I'm not plucking all the time..."
1928
"Okay, who had $50 on Karen getting on the couch before 10 p.m.?"
1928
"The lost hours I have spent maintaining these goddamn eyebrows are hours I could have spent SEEING THE WORLD, MY GOD."
1929
I love this. I keep expecting her to pull away her hand and see a print there.
1930
Buy this magazine and you, too, can look expensively bored.
1930
"Surprise, bitches. I didn't die in that fire AFTER ALL."
1931
What even IS this? Fashion week for shriveled ghosts?
1931
I appreciate that this disembodied hand model does not NAB.
1932
You're looking out the wrong window, madam.
1933
"I could SWEAR that's Muffet Van Der Woodsen over there with -- no, don't LOOK, Deidre, it's gauche to gossip."
1933
"Tell them. Tell the children. Tell them all... you live by the pluck, you die by the pluck."
1934
And so she perished, her tweezer hand frozen by mother time into a gnarled claw, her youthful face preserved exactly as she imagined: in a jar, brows thin, where she could sit on the mantel and teach the coming generations not to overpluck or else pay the price."
1934
This feels awfully bleak.
1935
"I call it, 'Ugh, EXHAUSTING.' Do you like it?"
1935
This evening clearly took a sexy turn.
1936
The 1936 equivalent of Millie Bobby Brown really HATED her groom and was not at all sorry when he accidentally made his nightly cocktail with Clorox.
1936
Fabulous. I love the cape.
1937
It wasn't SUPPOSED to be a Make Your Own Fascinator party, but then Tripp brought out the absinthe, and you know how THAT goes.
1937
This is a very dramatic memorial chair.
1938
She took one last look at the portrait, the signs of aging already spreading across her face, and shoved it under her bed. The devil had won.
1938
"So I put my HANDS UP, they're PLAYIN' MY SONG, the butterflies fly awayyyyyy...."
1939
This really does feel very, "War? WHAT WAR? LET'S DANCE."
1939
She could SMELL her own villainy. It was intoxicating.
1940
"Best Man really is an apt title," she panted.
1940
I love how mischievous she looks.
1941
"... I'm actually stuck? Can someone untie this?"
1942
This is SO creepy to me.
1942
Those are indeed some old f'ing questions.
1943
I TOLD HER not to put her head in an inflatable globe, but she didn't listen, and now look.
1943
What a weird way of saying, "Vogue turns 50."
1944
This cover really does scream, "It's not about her, it's about whether the man will look at her."
1944
You do NOT want to cross this woman or society WILL expel you.
1945
Look for a new doll and epic story, "Her Best Friend Was a Mannequin," this winter from American Girl.