NYE Cards

1907

"This was the year Santa got into bondage. Hope he gets out of it by December."

1915

"This is the year your house slides down the mountain. Enjoy the ride."

1905

I assume this is the poster for a horror movie called Jan. 1, in which a living doll absolutely ruins a New Year's Eve party.

1909

And this is the sequel, involving demonic elves.

1912

Ah, yes, that old New Year's tradition of giving children knit bags of alcohol and mistletoe and watching them run amok. Some of our best memories.

1940

I think this basically says that the scent of the flowers reminds him of his lover's lips. Who is buying this card for anyone? "Happy New Year. This dude was sucking on a Marlboro and thinking about his lover, who isn't there, maybe because HIS lips smell like tobacco and she's sick of it. Have a great one!" And if you ARE this guy, and this is how you want your lover to hear from you on NYE, then you are a narcissist. A win all around.

Merry Toper

I gather that "a merry toper" means "a good drink." I enjoy how low that sets the bar. Don't wish someone a great new year, because we all know it'll eventually turn into a shitshow; just stick with hoping they have ONE good tipple and then you'll bat a thousand. Except, get your crusty bird feet off my toper, MUST EVERYTHING BE SPOILED.

c. 1881

circa 1881: A New Year's greetings card. (Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

May this be the year a child hurls itself at you through the prison of the alphabet.

1911

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Historia/Shutterstock (7665068en) A Humourous Photographic New Year Greetings Card From Germany Depicting A Couple Tucking Into Sparkling Red Wine Having Spent A Productive Few Hours Making the Snowman Who Stands Happily Between Them Mr Frosty is Providing the Perfect Surface For Supporting the Wine Bucket! 1911 Historical Collection 169

"This is FINALLY the year we figured out how to solve the problem of Little Johnny. Happy new year."

1925

Heavily colorized greeting card shows a group of young girls as they hold hands in a ring around the figure of a snowman, accompanied by the phrase 'Gelukkig Nieuw Jaar' (or 'Happy New Year' in Dutch), circa 1925. The photo was taken in a studio in front of a backdrop painting that shows trees in a winter setting, and the snowman appears to be made of cotton and could be a person in a costume. (Photo by Vintage Images/Getty Images)

The village children refused to free Johnny from his snowman prison, and so he grew and grew.

1909

Greeting card, which in translation from Spanish reads 'Happy New Year,' features a colorized photograph of two oung girls as they pose together, arms around each other, under a blanket and next to a Christmas tree, 1909. (Photo by Transcendental Graphics/Getty Images)

"But we're not related, this isn't even my house, that doll is CRAZY, WHAT IS HAPPENING."

1871

This was the year naked babies helped out with the great postal worker shortage.

1880

Have A happy new year. JUST ONE.

1908

"I've done it! I've defeated man! WOMEN ARE GONNA RULE IT ALL FROM HERE ON OUT." I don't have the heart to tell her, do you?

c. 1900

UNITED STATES - CIRCA 1900: A vintage postcard probably for New Years featuring a couple in love toasting each other at a fancy party. The bottom bears a poem; "Drink to me only with thine eyes, While I thus pledge with mine, or if you leave a kiss within, I'll seek no more wine." (Photo by Buyenlarge/Getty Images)

The poem says, "I don't want you to drink at all, but I am gonna force you to watch ME get blitzed unless you agree to make out with me." A loving message as old as time.

Happy New Year greeting card features various anthropomorphized space hardware (among them a sputnik satellite) as they hold champagne flutes and look down on Earth from orbit, late 1950s or 1960s. (Photo by Buyenlarge/Getty Images)

Informative caption called this a card featuring "various anthropomorphized space hardware (among them a sputnik satellite) as they hold champagne flutes and look down on Earth from orbit, late 1950s or 1960s." I assume they're watching our planet start to eat itself and placing bets on how long it'll take us to notice.

c 1900

If you turn the horseshoe upside-down, they say the luck runs out. So this is obviously a new year's hex, yes?

c 1900

"May you be lost this year to the cold, dark forest, and all the wretched beasts therein."

1940

This is "a menu for Hotel del Monte," which felt it was a very nipple-forward kind of year.

1942

And here we have a menu from the Illinois Athletic Club, which is quite beautiful.

1907

GET THAT SPIDER OUT OF MY NEW YEAR. DO NOT MANIFEST THEM INTO MY LIFE.

Illustration for New Year postcard featuring doves, ships, and frost at sea.

I don't have a year on this one, but it sure SEEMS to be a wartime reference?

Clara Bow and Larry Gray, 1925

circa 1925: American actress Clara Bow (1905 - 1965) holds up a large card while actor Larry Gray inscribes a New Year's greeting with a giant pen. (Photo by General Photographic Agency/Getty Images)

This is a promotional photo, and I am pretty sure Clara Bow thinks there's a nonzero chance she's about to get murdered with a giant pen.

Father Time and Shirley Temple "Clock In" 1937

(Original Caption) 12/16/1936- Father Time is about ready to take his annual run-out powder, and this year Shirley Temple as apparently been choosen to give him the air. She is shown as she rehearsed her New Year's Eve appearance, and wishes to greet everyone with a "Happy New Year" in advance.

At long last, Father Time 1936 could step off his perch and slip back into the warm arms of his addiction to snorting trees.

Debbie Reynolds

THIS is exactly how I rang in 2023. Thanks for sticking with us, everyone, and I hope we'll have content for you for many more to come.