The Nickelodeon Kids Choice Sports Awards Thingamy is the same weekend as the ESPYs, I think, and this feels RIGHT on target for that.

It's entirely possible we are not far from a world in which we wear fancy hazmat suits all the time. 

Some of this feels targeted right at Nick Cannon, although at the same time this particular thing might be too sedate for him.

Hmm. David Oyelowo?

I could work with Michael B. Jordan in a v-neck sweater. Just saying.

Chadwick Boseman, mayb.

And I'm calling this for a dude with hipster hair at, like, Wango Tango, or something. I'll say the words "Shawn Mendes" but you could replace them with "Austin Mahone," assuming those are real things.

Oh, no, wait, I already said Chadwick Boseman, but he might want the cape.

What's Virgil Abloh Up To At Off White?

Herein lie the answers.