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Easter postcard featuring photo of rabbit in dress holding egg.

If you own this rabbit, sleep with one eye open tonight, because it did not appreciate that frock and it is COMING FOR YOU.

Easter postcard featuring baby chickens, rabbit, and colored eggs. Chicks are perched on electric fan in background.

Moments later, the Easter joy turned to bloody terror when Grandma turned on the fan.

Illustration for Easter postcard featuring young girl handing Easter eggs to pair of rabbits.

"MY OVERLORDS. HERE IS THE EGG OF DESTINY. WHEN WILL YOU CLAIM ME??"

Illustration for Easter postcard featuring brown rabbit sitting with family of chickens.

Is this implying that the rooster and the rabbit had an affair, and that's what yielded all the Easter eggs?

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Bilwissedition/imageBROKER/Shutterstock (4648349a) Nostalgic greeting card for Easter, Easter bunny shop owner selling hen and chicks colorful Easter eggs, circa 1900 VARIOUS

"Oho, you want it back now, do you? Well it's going to cost you double."

An easter bunny meets a hen with colored eggs in this fantasy postcard printed early 20th century in Germany. (Photo by Transcendental Graphics/Getty Images)

"No way, no how. I know horses in bunny costumes when I see them."

Easter postcard featuring young woman holding crucifix covered with lilies.

This is definitely one way to love Jesus.

Easter postcard featuring photograph of young woman holding crucifix covered with white flowers.

"If only I could get closer to him..."

Easter postcard featuring photograph of young woman holding crucifix covered with white flowers.

GIRL, stop, he's not going to date you.

UNITED STATES - CIRCA 1900: A newly hatched Easter chick emerges from the egg with a top hat and a cane and spectacles. (Photo by Buyenlarge/Getty Images)

This chick came out with a Ph.D in geophysics.

31st March 1904: A German Easter greetings postcard, showing a chick wearing military accessories being photographed by another chick. (Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

"I WILL GET THOSE WASCALLY WABBITS."

Illustration for Easter postcard featuring infant girl looking hungrily at baby chick in egg shell while holding oversized spoon.

"It's not SO different from sushi, is it, Mummy?"

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Bao/imageBROKER/Shutterstock (7495533a) Girl with bunny, Easter, woodcut, 1888, historic engraving VARIOUS

"I hope you love this spot, Mr. Hopper, for soon you shall be buried here."

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Bilwissedition/imageBROKER/Shutterstock (4648350a) Nostalgic greeting card for Easter, Easter bunnies, male and female, sitting on garden bench, circa 1900 VARIOUS

"You think I spent weeks gathering all those f*cking eggs just to get some stolen flowers?"

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Bilwissedition/imageBROKER/Shutterstock (4648353a) Nostalgic greeting card for Easter, Easter bunny, pussy willow, purple Easter egg, circa 1900 VARIOUS

"And on the Monday, you shall make a human sacrifice."

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Historia/Shutterstock (7665066xb) The Easter Bunny Pokes His Head out Through A Hole in A Fence Slat Two Pale Blue Easter Eggs Are to Either Side 1915 Historical Collection 167

"You can't hide."

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Historia/Shutterstock (7665096ev) A Small Boy Sits On A Large Easter Egg in A Spring Meadow While the March Hare Looks Up at Him 1905 Historical Collection 3

Excuse me, but how big was that hen?

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Historia/Shutterstock (9810505a) A Rather Stern-looking Easter Bunny Heads out ('again'!) Delivering Cards & Eggs... Misch & Stock's 'The Genre' Postcard Series No.36 A Rather Stern-looking Easter Bunny Delivering Cards & Eggs, 1908

Nope. Just no.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Historia/Shutterstock (7665054mx) A Rather Splendid Symbolism-packed Easter Card with Two Children A Boy and A Girl Playing On A See-saw Balanced On A Giant Easter Egg the Easter Bunny is Sitting at the Fulcrum and Colourful (yet Smaller) Easter Eggs Surround Them 1909 Historical Collection 156

"ONE OF US. ONE OF US."

Editorial use only. No book cover usage. Mandatory Credit: Photo by Kobal/Shutterstock (5856025a) Alla Nazimova Nazimova, Alla - 1919 Portrait

Dear GOD, do not give Andrew Lloyd Webber any ideas about an Easter version of Cats.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Historia/Shutterstock (7665047es) Three Children Look in Astonishment at an Extremely Tubby Bunny 1923 Historical Collection 15

Informative caption says, "Three Children Look in Astonishment at an Extremely Tubby Bunny." That... is accurate. (Apparently the caption says, "This year I'm putting the Easter eggs out on Pentecost. I get more for it.")

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Cci/Shutterstock (6044419lu) Matza (substitute for bread during the Jewish holiday of Passover). Postcard, Hungary, 1901 Art (Prints & illustrations) - various

This card is of some Matza, unintentionally shaped like Pac Man. Do with that what you will.

No Merchandising. Editorial Use Only. No Book Cover Usage Mandatory Credit: Photo by Glasshouse Images/Shutterstock (4600249a) Nude Woman in Egg, 'Easter Greetings', Postcard, circa 1910 VARIOUS

Yes, there's no sexier holiday than Easter.

Please Enjoy This Hideous Array of Easter Cards
And one Passover card.

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