Helen Mirren in D&G

I was always going to start with these jewels. This! Necklace! Is! Amazing. And the matching earrings? Hello.

Helen Mirren in D&G

She looks terrific in this and I am annoyed that it is D&G. (Would you have gone for a green shoe, or is that too much?)

Marion Cotillard in Chanel Couture

Hello! I am obsessed with this already. Yes, it has a robotic vibe, but that robot is VERY CHIC. (It actually sort of reminds me of what might happen if the dress she won her Oscar in became a robot.)

Marion Cotillard in Chanel

It's VERY Cannes and VERY fantastic.

Marion Cotillard in Chanel

And that little gold cuff -- "little," it's probably worth $100,000 -- is divine.

Maggie Gyllenhaal in Celine

I did NOT expect Maggie Gyllenhaal to be the person in the cape at this event and I welcome this development for all of us, including her. (I suspect this color is very subtly gold in person and that doesn't quite come through in the snaps; I do sort of wish it were more of a color, but this feels in her wheelhouse.)

Mj Rodriguez in Etro

Meanwhile, Mj looks like a very beautiful Star Wars character who knows many secrets and has many powers.

Mj Rodriguez in Etro

God bless Cannes for -- like the Met Gala -- giving everyone ample opportunity to show off the back of their gowns.

Andie MacDowell

This is both somewhat kooky AND somewhat fabulous, which is an exciting combination.

Kat Graham in custom Etro

And this might need a teeny hoik but that's a nitpick -- she looks GREAT in it. (It's always impressive when someone looks both beachy AND fancy at Cannes, where Fancy Beachy is definitely appropriate but often elusive.)

Kat Graham in custom Etro

Fantastic.

Jessica Chastain in Dior

On the other end of the spectrum, while this dress is objectively very well done, and her jewelry and head look terrific, it's also sort of glum -- especially compared to everyone else.

Bella Hadid in vintage Jean-Paul Gaultier

This look was originally worn on the catwalk by Naomi Campbell, and it takes a lot of guts to wear something worn by Naomi! I am sure even Bella Hadid would be like, "No, I am no Naomi Campbell." But I love seeing vintage on the red carpet and I hope we see more of that this week.

Bella Hadid in vintage Jean-Paul Gaultier

I do not ever particularly enjoy a train that appears to be exploding from someone's bum.

Soko in Gucci

So....I love this?

Spike Lee in Louis Vuitton

There's the back of Maggie's cape -- how thrilling to be back in a place where the red carpet is jammed up enough that celebs are drifting into other photos -- but who is even looking at that when Spike Lee looks RESPLENDENT in pink! I am into this!

Spike Lee, Melanie Laurent (in Armani) and Mylene Farmer

Melanie Laurent's dress is actually a vest and a skirt. She looks fine, but it's meant to be a little looser, and I think it looks better that way. (I'm sure this is a sample she's wearing; it's a shame Armani didn't have time to make a version that approximated the runway version for her. ) I am not familiar with Mylene Farmer, but she sort of resembles Leeza Gibbons to me? Has anyone ever seen them in the same room together?

Jodie Foster in Givenchy

Speaking of Armani, I'm surprised she isn't wearing them here -- but this is sleek and crisp on her.

Adam Driver

"Hello, yes, it's true. I am multi-talented."

Melanie Thierry in Dior

The Grecian look is really going to be happening, I predict, and why not? 'Tis flowy.

Elisa Sednaoui in Alberta Ferretti

This is fun! It has a real mermaid-feel, and why not?

Carla Bruni Sarkozy in Celine

Let's be honest: Carla looks absolutely fantastic. Wow. Jeez.

Candice Swanepoel in Etro

Candice Swanepoel must be delighted to be back in her element -- in Cannes, wearing something sheer. Embrace it, my child! We all missed this last year!

Nicolas Maury

I appreciate a man headband in Cannes! (Say that three times fast.)

Elsa Zylberstein

This hits the jackpot of being both sheer AND funereal and that is impressive.

Bong Joon-ho

He looks exactly like himself.

Pedro Almodovar

As does he!

Angele in Chanel

She is, per Wiki, "a Belgian singer-songwriter" with whom I am absolutely unfamiliar, but! This dress is simple (well, for Chanel couture) and geat.

Lou Doillon in Gucci

BIG PARTY FINISH! (Seriously, this is a party dress of the first order and I'm here for it, and for her literally heart-shaped bag.)

Cannes Has Begun! And We've Got A Whole Lot GOWNS (and JEWELS!) For You!

Also at least one cape!