Prince and the Prisoner

Prince Albert: I'M AT THE OSCARS FOR SOME UNFORESEEN REASON! Look at all these BREASTS.

Princess Charlene: I hate my life. I should have run when I could have. I know they confiscated my passport before the wedding, but I could have WALKED over the border. They did it in The Sound of Music. CAPTAIN VON TRAPP IS RIGHT THERE. I wonder if he can escort me to a hidden safe house somewhere in the Valley....

84th Annual Academy Awards - Arrivals

Princess Charlene: He's right THERE. HELP ME, CAPTAIN VON TRAPP. HELP ME.

84th Annual Academy Awards - Arrivals

Princess Charlene: At least the back of my dress is pretty. Now if I can just shake this guy and get the hell out of here....

Oscar Fug Carpet: Princess Charlene

Or, as I'm privately referring to her lately, "Princess Prisoner." Seriously, no one looked more miserable at the Oscars than she did.