Idina Menzel in Vera Wang

It may not have been Idina's night, in general. She seemed really nervous on the red carpet, which you'd think a seasoned, Tony-winning Broadway star would not be (although the world stage is certainly a lot larger than anything in New York). I like this better in photographs than I did in motion -- on the pre-show, I saw her and lamented to Jess that she often wears things that bulk her up, and she's one of the freshly single ones, so I wanted her to come out and be like, "BAM, suck on THAT, TAYE." (Note that I have no idea what caused their divorce, except that I've heard infidelity rumors about him for YEARS AND YEARS and in fact thought they had already split up once over it, which is why I'm taking the SHOVE IT IN HIS FACE angle.)

What gets me NOW, though, is the sadness of the hair and makeup. It's not matching the dress for drama or glamour, and it's bringing down the whole look. Her necklace wins in that scenario, at least, because your eye goes there and stays.

Idina Menzel in Reem Acra

I wish she'd sounded better, too -- a couple of her notes slid off and the last line seemed wrong, and when she finished she made a slightly disappointed grimace-y face as she reached up to remove her earpiece (maybe something was wrong with it?). But I mean, Idina Menzel on an off night is still a million times more pleasant to listen to than many things, including ME, so it's a quibble. The dress... I think, for this, she should've come out in something in a frosty silver or white, beaded or jeweled, evoking the scene from the song itself -- something really showstopping. This is a musty disappointment.

Pink in Elie Saab

This is from the same show that yielded Taylor Swift's big-red-dress moment at the CMAs. I love it, conceptually, and love it slightly less on her -- it might require a lady with a slightly daintier chest, and WHERE IS YOUR RUBY LIP, GIRL? -- but I'm still pretty damn fond of it, and I thought her voice sounded beautiful.

But why not let Liza Minnelli and Lorna Luft sing part of this? They were THERE. I know age means one's pipes will not be what they once were, but a) that's why you can adjust keys, and b) just have them sing like two lines each. Think of how emotional THAT might have been, seeing those two on-stage under those iconic shots of their mother, singing her song -- or even singing it WITH her. As Nat King/Natalie Cole as that might have been. >

That is my OTHER question: If you're paying for all that footage, can't you shell out for half the song, or a quarter of it, by Judy herself? Cut out and let Pink fill in the rest, if you have to, and maybe that would've been nicest, but we want to HEAR JUDY GARLAND. Her magic was in her voice. The whole thing made no sense. If you're going to go there, GO THERE.

Pink at the Vanity Fair party

I don't know what this is, but this change made sense to me -- and it's totally cute for her. The leather jacket is perfect.

U2

I enjoy that Adam Clayton has glittering lapels.

U2 - Performance

Here's what kept bugging me about the stage: From certain angles it looked like chalk outlines of dead bodies.

Bette Midler in Reem Acra

Well, this was fabulous. She should never have changed.

Bette Midler in custom Alaia

This was not NEARLY as flattering, nor dreamy, nor Big Honking Moment, and it didn't even look that great under the stage lights, so I don't get it. NOT EVERYONE NEEDS A HUNDRED OUTFITS.

It also was weird that she sang "Wind Beneath My Wings" AFTER the entire dead-person montage, not during it. Which would have saved time. Cut that and the uninspired montages, spend that time on clever packages for the creative awards (remember when they'd show silent clips, then full clips, for the sound categories, to show you how major their work was?), maybe some behind-the-scenes stuff about the costuming for that award, etc. Celebrate all facets of the art and not just some half-executed theme of "heroes" that was arbitrarily chosen.

Pharrell Williams

WHEEEEEE. Seriously, if this did not make you happy, you are dead inside.

Pharrell Williams

Meryl Streep: not dead inside.

Oscar Performers Fugs and Fabs

Here's my feeling about Travolta and Adele Dazeem: Plenty of people flubbed their lines at the Oscars; it was an extraordinarily sloppy show, and his had the misfortune of being the most cuckoo cock-up. But it's true that nobody else screwed up on an "Adele Dazeem" level, and while I understand that people are attributing it to Travolta being dyslexic, and I have great sympathy for that, I also think it's totally okay to be like, "Yeah, you know what? That guy is a professional and he could have been more prepared, and he wasn't." Because John Travolta has worked in showbiz for FORTY YEARS (which blows my mind a little). He is not new to the adjustments he has to make in order to avoid the pitfalls of live TV. Don't memorize the patter, if you don't want -- nobody cares about patter -- but at the very least, the TINIEST modicum of respect he could have shown for Idina Menzel, and her moment, was to bother to memorize HER NAME, so that even if the rest of it got tangled, he could just take a deep breath and laugh it off and then get the important part right. The whole thing was so bizarre that I'm not sure it CAN be excused except by The Drink, The Lazy, or maybe The Last-Minute Substitution. I suppose The Nerves? Maybe it was The Nerves. But I mean, not for nothing, Tom Cruise has dyslexia also, and you can bet that dude would have studied the hell out of it and walked out there and nailed "Idina Menzel" correctly if his life depended on it. Which I just realized sounds kind of bad, although I ALSO just realized that Tom Cruise and Idina Menzel becoming a couple would be really entertaining, and I wouldn't have gotten there if not for Travolta and Adele Dazeem, so: Thanks, you two! As for the outfits: We've got Idina in Reem Acra and Vera Wang; Bette Midler in Reem Acra and custom Alaia; Pink in Elie Saab; U2 in U2-type things; and Pharrell in a whole lot of good cheer. [Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]