Janelle Monae in Ralph Lauren
She looks like the world's most beautiful, mysterous Jedi Master. Per People, this gown has 168,000 Swarovski crystals, took 600 hours to make, and was heavy enough that it needed FOUR people to deliver it to her. How can one body wear it, if that's the case? Anyway, it's completely transfixing on her.
I did think for a second this was sheer. It is... awfully close, at least. There are some curves and shadows I can see that are telltale. The one thing I'd change would be that, just because it doesn't seem necessary. The dress doesn't need the distraction.
Maya Rudolph in Valentino
"Hello, yes, Janelle and I are going to have a cult-off later. Mine offers fewer hoods, but better dental, if that's your thing."
Renee Zellweger in Armani
Sticking to her sleek monochrome approach to awards season, Renee came prepared to win and look awesome under the lights, and she did both. This is fantastic on her. I'm just missing a bracelet on that naked arm.
Brie Larson in custom Celine
She's worn a lot of Celine for her big moments, and they almost always fit her flawlessly. This is no exception. It's pinker than it looks in this photo, and it was beautiful on her.
ScarJo in custom Oscar de la Renta
I honestly thought this was going to turn out to be Versace. It's a bit of a Monet to me, as Cher Horowitz would say -- at a glance you might think, "Oh, how bombshell, how slinky and glittery," but then you look and the bodice feels like it's slowly coming unwound, and not in an especially alluring way. It isn't necessary. I feel like you could flesh that out with a lot more strands and hide the underpinnings, and it'd look better. We don't need to see proof that you constructed a dress, y'all! We know you did because we're looking at it.
Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson
She looks really dreamy.
Rebel Wilson in custom Jason Wu
I have two notes on this otherwise foxy situation: 1) I wish it didn't look like the left shoulder was falling off -- it's not dramatically different enough to the other side to feel intentional (even though I'm sure it is); and 2) I think Rebel Wilson looks best with those side-bangs.
Molly Sims in Zuhair Murad
This is fine! EVERYTHING IS FINE.
Beanie Feldstein in custom Miu Miu
I really love this on her, and also wish the bodice didn't seem a tad crooked. It looks like a construction flaw -- like they didn't calibrate the halter correctly.
Matthew A. Cherry and Karen Rupert Toliver (in Pol’ Atteu)
Their animated short Hair Love won, which was awesome -- we follow him on Twitter and also lots of people who love him, so it was really lovely -- but Karen's dress is GORGEOUS and it needed to be saluted.
Diane Warren
This is totally on-brand and I hope it comes out that she wears that same choker every year she's nominated and just adds a line to it every time she loses. She is the Susan Lucci of the Oscars, and one day she SHOULD win, but I think even she was kinda like, "Maybe... not for this one."
Zazie Beetz in Thom Browne
I only just noticed this is two pieces. I wish it were not. Her styling is so great, especially the necklace, that I don't think it needed anything else.
Giuliana Rancic
This could be worse! The metallic stripes keep looking like zippers to me on first glance. It DOES also kind of come across like her pelvis is barfing fire.
Robin Roberts and Michael Strahan
Robin's expression is the one I was wearing when I saw this photo.
