Oscars 2020 Telecast

Janelle Monae

The Oscars' sound issues seemed to begin here. Janelle did not sound quite right on the Mr. Rogers song cover and I wonder if she couldn't hear the music properly? She also had a button pop open on her while she walked in and had to fix that after she put on the cardigan, which she then couldn't button in time. Live TV is a beast. (It turned out fine.)

with Billy Porter

Mandatory Credit: Photo by ETIENNE LAURENT/EPA-EFE/Shutterstock (10552580h) Janelle Monaeand Billy Porter performs during the 92nd annual Academy Awards ceremony at the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood, California, USA, 09 February 2020. The Oscars are presented for outstanding individual or collective efforts in filmmaking in 24 categories. Ceremony - 92nd Academy Awards, Hollywood, USA - 09 Feb 2020

MORE THAN fine, as she got to hang out with Billy Porter in THAT COAT. I also want to know if all those flowers were real, and how many there were, and what did they weigh? LOGISTICS, please.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP/Shutterstock (10552579o) Janelle Monae performs onstage at the Oscars, at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles 92nd Academy Awards - Show, Los Angeles, USA - 09 Feb 2020

Janelle later wore some flowers, and ended up collapsing on the floor in this cape, before I THINK getting up and throwing it off and accidentally cliipping Leo in the face with it. By the end I think the audience was like, "Oh, okay, this is kind of awesome," but I do NOT any of them thought there woud be singing on this exam (Brie Larson was very game when the mic came to her mouth; I actually enjoyed that aspect of it because even the "spontanous" stuff on late-night shows now is all planned).

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP/Shutterstock (10552603d) Janelle Monae, Billy Porter. Janelle Monae, left, and Billy Porter perform onstage at the Oscars, at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles 92nd Academy Awards, Los Angeles, USA - 09 Feb 2020

I got two photos of this part of the performance. Methinks none shall complain.

Idina and the Elsas

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP/Shutterstock (10552579aq) Idina Menzel, center, performs with international voice actresses that play Elsa in the movie "Frozen II" at the Oscars, at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles 92nd Academy Awards - Show, Los Angeles, USA - 09 Feb 2020

All the foreign-language Elsas got to sing with Idina Menzel and her arm pillowcases, a performance that ALSO sounded slightly off-key at times. I really enjoyed this tribute to the other women who made that movie a global success, even if the song itself felt very much like refried "Let It Go."

Chrissy Metz

I like Chrissy's cape so much better than I did her red outfit. I still like her hair better without the extra length. And this song was super boring. Chrissy has a nice voice, and she's IN the movie for which it was written; I'm glad she got to sing it, and at the Oscars, to boot. But it was unremarkable (it HAS to only be nominated because it's Diane Warren). It needed glory notes, and I don't know if Chrissy is a glory notes kind of singer.

Cynthia Erivo in Vera Wang

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Rob Latour/Shutterstock (10548150hz) Cynthia Erivo 92nd Annual Academy Awards, Show, Los Angeles, USA - 09 Feb 2020

Okay, Vera, are we back in business? This is FABULOUS and I wish she'd worn it all night.

Randy Newman

"Just throw some fake clouds out on Randy; he's not gonna win."

Elton

"Elton's gonna take this sucker, so give him a set that looks like his glasses, and also Las Vegas."

Elton and Bernie

Mandatory Credit: Photo by ETIENNE LAURENT/EPA-EFE/Shutterstock (10552580ei) Sir Elton John (L) and Bernie Taupin reacts after winning the Oscar for Achievement in Music written for Motion Pictures (Original Song) during the 92nd annual Academy Awards ceremony at the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood, California, USA, 09 February 2020. The Oscars are presented for outstanding individual or collective efforts in filmmaking in 24 categories. Ceremony - 92nd Academy Awards, Hollywood, USA - 09 Feb 2020

I am delighted that Elton went full Elton for this. I don't know why his shoes are mismatched. I've decided it's because at home somewhere Taron Egerton is wearing the other half of each pair.

Eminem

"WAIT. IS THERE REALLY NO MEKHI PHIFER???" (At a meaner awards ceremony, on that line they would have cut to an empty seat with his name taped to it.)

Utkarsh Ambudkar

The Wrap helpfully outlined who Utkarsh is -- the tie-in here is that he's in Disney's live-action Mulan, though he also has deep comedy-rap roots and was the original Aaron Burr in Hamilton's development before Leslie Odom Jr. came in. He did a rap recap of the show, which was a cute idea but came out of nowhere and then was never seen again; I think he needed to come out maybe one more time, right before Best Picture, so that it felt... like a thing? No?

Finneas O'Connel and Billie Eilish

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Rob Latour/Shutterstock (10548150ld) Finneas O'Connell and Billie Eilish 92nd Annual Academy Awards, Show, Los Angeles, USA - 09 Feb 2020

Okay. So. They were fine. My deal with her is: In many of her songs, her enuncuation (or lack thereof) sounds like she's singing with her mouth -- or at least her teeth -- closed, and so while she has a very pretty voice, that effect didn't work well on the lower parts of "Yesterday." It was still haunting at times, but other times if I closed my eyes I still would've thought, "Are you opening your mouth?!?"

Diane Keaton and Keanu Reeves

Mandatory Credit: Photo by ETIENNE LAURENT/EPA-EFE/Shutterstock (10552580ag) Diane Keaton (L) and Keanu Reeves (R) arrive to present the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay for 'Parasite' during the 92nd annual Academy Awards ceremony at the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood, California, USA, 09 February 2020. The Oscars are presented for outstanding individual or collective efforts in filmmaking in 24 categories. Ceremony - 92nd Academy Awards, Hollywood, USA - 09 Feb 2020

Diane wasn't even supposed to present; she was just swinging by on the way home from Trader Joe's.

James Corden and Rebel Wilson

Mandatory Credit: Photo by ETIENNE LAURENT/EPA-EFE/Shutterstock (10552580db) James Corden (L) and Rebel Wilson (R) present the Oscar for Achiement in Visual Effects during the 92nd annual Academy Awards ceremony at the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood, California, USA, 09 February 2020. The Oscars are presented for outstanding individual or collective efforts in filmmaking in 24 categories. Ceremony - 92nd Academy Awards, Hollywood, USA - 09 Feb 2020

Those two brought down the house with a joke about the shitty visual effects in Cats. I can't decide if I think that's knowingly and winkingly okay, or too mean/too soon/too... something.

Jane Fonda in Elie Saab

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Rob Latour/Shutterstock (10548150mr) Jane Fonda 92nd Annual Academy Awards, Show, Los Angeles, USA - 09 Feb 2020

As I joked on Twitter, I wish she'd come out in handcuffs. However, I do believe she's clutching the red coat in which she's been arrested several times, and I love that. I also applaud her for sticking to her word: She said she’d never buy clothes again, and sure enough, she rewore a gown from Cannes in 2014.

The Parasite cast

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Rob Latour/Shutterstock (10548150nf) Best Picture - Parasite 92nd Annual Academy Awards, Show, Los Angeles, USA - 09 Feb 2020

This was SUCH A LOVELY SURPRISE. I mean, less of one once Boon Jong-Ho won Best Director, but still great. I didn't think the Academy would make this particular history and I'm thrilled it did. Parasite was a very difficult mix of things -- some scenes were deliciously tense, some were awkwardly funny, some were heartbreaking -- so while it didn't necessarily have the obvious in-your-face marvels of a 1917, it blended genres and balanced story with artistry and ensemble excellence. It's wonderful to see an international film recognized outside of that particular box.

Luke Perry

He also should have been in the telecast -- he was in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, for God's sake -- but since he wasn't, let's give it to him here. RIP, Luke.