Lady Gaga in Versace

So. I've yapped for years about not loving visible boning. Here is the surprise: I don't hate this. I think that if you're going to do this aesthetic, the front view of this dress might be the nicest execution I've seen of it? I was wondering why she had on a strong smoky eye AND a loud lip, and then she scrubbed it all off for her performance; I think she went all-in here to make that contrast more jarring.

I don't love that from the side it looks like an ode to pants that are falling off.

And I shall pass on the back view entirely.

Ashley Graham in Alberta Ferretti

Well, it started out fine. If the skirt were lined, we'd be having a more pleasant conversation. I do think this is way too extra for hosting the ABC red carpet pre-show, and I think that's why Vanessa Hudgens went so sedate (you'll see). She has gone sheer and big before for that job, and I think is editing herself now.

I will give her that she knew how to work it!

Elizabeth Banks in Vivienne Westwood

"Yeah, I don't know, guys, here's this skirt thing, whatever."

Jennifer Connelly in Louis Vuitton

Is that a piece of the Highway to the Danger Zone? I don't HATE this, given how bad her Vuitton traditionally is, but it's definitely weird to look like an alien artifact is rising from your bosom.

Jenny Slate in Thom Browne

This is sort of... stiff, and so-so.

Jenny Slate

The little cropped jacket is cuter with it.

Danai Gurira in Jason Wu

Danai told the interviewers, “This is my African self coming out here, you know, a tribute to the women who carry amazingly things on their heads with an astounding poise at all times." She looks superb. And always nice to see Mr. Wu on the carpet.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

We went back and forth on the old "navy or black" debate, but some publication or other (well-cited, I know) called it "off-black" so it landed in here. She looks nice. I did like the bit she and Paul Dano did when they presented the costume award. I am of the belief that she makes everyone around her funnier (not that he can't be funny on his own, obviously).

Paul Dano

I did not know where to put Paul, either, honestly. In some lights it looked black and cream, and in some, brown and pale pink?!? Now he can be with JLD for all time.

Marlee Matlin in D&G

Well, D&G... you did it. This IS really good.

Sarah Polley in Saint Laurent

She seems happiest in suits, and I'm SO THRILLED that she won an Oscar in something that suits her so well.

Riz Ahmed in Prada

That shirt looks like a pterodactyl trying to escape.

Martin McDonagh

Did he go home empty handed!? He did! That seems surprising. I would not have predicted that even two weeks ago.

Phoebe Waller-Bridge

Sure! She was a very elegant plus-one on this night.

Ram Charaon, Upasana Kamineni

Ram is one of the protagonists of RRR, and Upasana is his wife. He said her jewelry is made of 400 rubies! They both look wonderful.

Nandamuri Taraka Rama Rao Jr.

And look at that! So cool. Also, I cannot IMAGINE how relieved he and Ram were that they didn't have to go up there and perform that RRR dance in person. There is a whole plot point about how exhausting it is.

Elizabeth Olsen in Givenchy

This would have been better if it stopped at the fringe, and didn't give her the extra sheer layer to trample.

Mark, Kelly, Ryan

Mark is taking over the morning show from Ryan, and my theory is that he's also there because Kelly and Ryan cannot stand each other at this point and they need a social buffer. (There are rumors, right? Or am I making that up? You know I love daytime drama of all flavors.)

Kelly Ripa

That is... an enormous bucketload of bronzer.

Vanessa Hudgens in vintage Chanel

I think this is a very effective use of Chanel. She looks exactly like someone who has a job to do at a fancy event, and showed up to work.

Austin Butler

I am sort of sad for him that he didn't win -- that movie is hot garbage, but he performed his ASS off, and worked really hard (even when the script was working against him) to make Elvis feel fleshed out and not just like an impersonation.

Andrew Garfield

Solid and dependable.

Brendan Fraser

He, too, is reliable! We have entered a Reliable portion of the slideshow.

John Cho

And he was a very elegant John Cho on this night.

Jonathan Majors

He said this was inspired by Frederick Douglass, which was a nice reference to hear on Oscar night.

Michael B. Jordan

Look at those TWO giant jewels on his lapel. Creed did not come to play.

Jay Ellis

And THIS is the Top Gun portion of the slideshow. Always a nice stretch.

Danny Ramirez

Very handsome.

Lewis Pullman

O sweet black tie Colonel Sanders, how is thy crispy chicken?

Andie MacDowell

Hard to be mad at this.

Rainey Qualley

The highlight for me is her purse.

Chloe East in Monique Lhuiller x RCGD Global x TENCEL

That necklace. More of these, please!

Pedro Pascal and Javiera Balmaceda

Pedro attended with his sister! She was nominated for Argentina, 1985, in International Feature Film (which went to All Quiet on the Western Front). How thrilling for them both, and for him to get to be there ONLY as a supportive brother.

Colin Farrell and Henry

Colin brought his son. I wish he'd gotten to see his dad win. Although I also said I felt bad for Austin Butler. There really were a lot of very likable and deserving nominees this year. I cannot think of many whose win would have sent me into a rage coma.

Deepika Padukone

I am THRILLED that she got that jewel, and less thrilled that many a photo service mislabeled her as Camila Alves at first.

Ke Huy Quan and Echo Quan

Gorgeous, everywhere, all at once.

Nicole Kidman in custom Armani

This feels MAJOR for a night when she wasn't nominated. I'm not complaining. I DID, however, gripe about how her hair was hanging lankly into her face much of the time. I appear to have helped her out here with a photo where it's pushed back.

I do enjoy that they are the anti-Hollywood pairing in this respect. Remember how Batfleck and Jennifer Garner barely ever walked the carpet together? Nicole and Keith kiss and hold each other's faces and nuzzle EVERY TIME and I guess I find it sweet because Love is Not Dead.

Ed Begley Jr.

Meanwhile, Ed brought his daughter (I think) and his Tap card, so he could take the bus and/or the subway. Brilliant idea! I honestly hope someone rends out an Oscar subway train next year and turns it into a PARTY.

Black Was the Overwhelming Color of Choice Last Night at the Oscars

And not ONLY because of tuxes, although... partly.