Britney Spears
"Hey, y'all! I'm brunette now because brown hair is serious and so are the Oscars and yeah maybe I'm working on a plan where I sneak into the gated community where Justin and Jessica live and then I live in their bushes for like six weeks acclimitiziing myself to...wait, I've said too much. See you later, y'all!"
Chad Michael Murray
Chad Michael Murray. In a black leather suit. Just drink that on in.
Anna Paquin
On the other hand, this is one of my favorites, though I wish she were wearing a bit more lipstick. Maybe she ate it off on some canapes.
Rose McGowan
Oh, Rose. NO ONE is doing The Leg this year.
Amber Heard
This dress is just lovely. However, I just noticed -- this that Gabby Douglas falling down the stairs behind her?! What is with people falling on Oscar night? Gabby Douglas, at least, has probably fallen off a lot of stuff and is very VERY coordinated, so I assume she is okay? Maybe this is a party trick of hers -- APPEARING to fall down the stairs, but actually doing some gymnastics-y trick to recover.
Gabby Douglas
See! She's fine. This is actually blue/gray, but I figured you'd want to make sure she was okay. She also looks swell.
Mary Elizabeth Winstead
Obviously, I would have given her a bracelet, but otherwise this is crisp deliciousness.
Mary McCormack
I like this conceptually, but in execution it sort of makes her look like she's in costume as a formal python.
Laura Dern
That neckline is mesmerizing. You know she spent the whole night saying things like, "PIVEN! My eyes are up here!"
Rosemarie DeWitt and Ron Livingston
She needs jewelry but looks beautiful. He too could benefit from, like, a giant bejeweled choker, no?
Kate Beckinsale
Nine times out of ten, she goes for the princess dress. I love this, actually.
Willa Holland
This is...fine? I am a little confused by what's happening with her hair.
Nia Vardalos
This might be navy blue? Regardless, Nia looks nice -- and she always looks like someone you might want to cackle with over a drink, which is a good bonus.
Nina Garcia
I should hate this and think it's crazy, but I actually think it's kind of awesome.
Greta Gerwig
This might also be navy, now that I look at it. It might also be the costume worn by the Greek chorus in a modern update of Oedipus, since I can see her striding around in this pronouncing terrible things about hubris.
Jane Lynch
Jane Lynch always looks like herself, which I enjoy and admire. I also sort of wish she and CMM had traded suits sometime in the middle of the night. She would have worked that leather and he could use the levity of a sparkle.
Hamm and Westfeldt
Always gonna save the Hamm for last.