Jennifer Lawrence in Dior

Last night, someone tweeted that this resembles a more mature version of Gwyneth's goth McQueen, which made me laugh. I can see the DNA there, but more... like they're cousins a decade-plus apart, and the younger grew up both idolizing and HATING the other one.

Mostly, I just think this is messy and below-average. Her head looks pulled-together, though, so if she really did feel like crap, congrats to her for handling it better than I would have.

Jennifer Lawrence in Alexander Wang (with David O Russell)

First, I am wildly not into this gown. That it's designed to look like it's bursting off of her is unappealing to me in the extreme; I've decided she's using it as a visual metaphor of being excited to burst out of her Dior contract, and perhaps out of tender youth (she is STILL only 25, and two years younger than Vikander) into ladyhood.

Second, I have concerns about this relationship. Svengali-esque concerns. (David O. Russell was also her red-carpet escort.) The way she expresses her adoration of him makes me a bit uncomfortable, and the way he expresses his admiration of her -- I read a quote where he basically said what he connect with about her is that she behaves like a guy, which has me concerned that he isn't that reverent of or interested in womanhood -- is odd too. It reminds me a LITTLE bit of when Rooney Mara got uncomfortably starry over David Fincher, and he seemed to enjoy allowing it and manipulating it. I just... who the heck knows. Maybe they're just total bros.

Third: If she was so sick she that she nearly missed the Oscars red carpet, maybe she should go home to bed? Just a thought.

Jennifer Lawrence in Naeem Khan

I love you, Naeem Khan, but this whole ensemble looks too dowdy on her. And I can see too much.

Jennifer Lawrence

I am scared she's wearing a fishnet tunic bag under that coat.

Jennifer Lawrence

Correction: a fishnet tunic with a GIGANTIC bow.

Oscars Fug Carpet: Jennifer Lawrence in Dior and Alexander Wang

Jennifer caused quite the uproar by missing the televised red carpet. She claims she was sick - which she also said last year, which, hey, maybe she just has terrible luck. Or maybe she cried wolf last year and then this time the wolf ate her. She DID look queasy during her category, but that could be because: a) the movie looks terrible, b) the worst remedy for active pre-partying has to be sitting in an auditorium on TV for three and a half hours; c) she's genuinely sick; d) she had to sit next to Charlize, in a far superior Dior; e) she was trying to snag the last interview of the night but nobody told her ABC would be off the red carpet by 5:15, and she felt bad; f) several of the above. [Photos: Getty]