Heidi Klum
Just look down, Heidi -- they're still there. I promise. And am I alone in being mildly terrified by her ring? It is a weapon on the wrong hand. Which, if it were my hand, would be exactly that, because I am uncoordinated.
Heidi Klum
This dress... I have two problems with it: One, it's trying so hard that it's going to give itself stress wrinkles; Heidi Klum is so gorgeous that I really wish she didn't always need to be at or above a certain percentage of naked. And second, considering how great her body is, this dress isn't even doing the job it thinks it's doing. It is not very flattering. At all. It truly believes it is, but it's not.
Heidi Klum
All that nude netting stuff... fine, whatever, it's holding the sides together, but why is it splashing out from under the straps? And why is she opening up an International House of Boobcakes franchise when she is HEIDI FREAKING KLUM?
Heidi Klum
The back is art deco and funky, but again, spoiled by ugly netting. Even more ATTRACTIVE netting would have been okay, but somehow that particular kind is just... not.
Heidi Klum
OBVIOUSLY it became a lot more amusing to me once she added the boa. NOW we're going to camp, as they say. Except, no one says that.
Heidi Klum
And now I just feel like I passed out and woke up in the middle of Rock of Ages.