Shirley Bassey
She sounded a little rough at the beginning, but damn, did she warm up to it and then eventually KICK ITS ASS. It was pretty great. Enough that I don't even mind the elbow-warmers. If a lady is going to wear them, they might as well be sparkly gold magic tubes.
Shirley Bassey
She smartly went low-key, yet classy on the red carpet, which gave her GOOOOOOOOLDFINGAAAAAH outfit a lot more punch.
Faye Dunaway
This is hilarious. It looks like she's wearing Playtex rubber kitchen gloves. Please, God, tell me that Graydon made Faye do the dishes in exchange for a ticket.
Meryl Streep
When Meryl came out, we were like, "Well! That is... actually not bad!" Lukewarm comment, but still, it really wasn't bad. It might even have been great.
Meryl
For those who care about such things, her hair does appear to be bobbed now, and not just pinned up. Also, look at that volume. That hair has horizontal HEFT.
Jackie Collins
I hope Jackie was walking around all night handing out copies of her book to people whom she thought should star in a movie version. You can keep your Fifty Shades of Gray, pretenders. She is fifty shades of RAD.
Joan Collins
SPEAKING OF. Oh, Joan. Getty Images captioned one of her pictures as Joan CRAWFORD. SILLY PEOPLE. I hope SHE spent the whole night throwing martinis at people for sport. They should've had a sign-up sheet. Someday I'm going to bump into her at Fashion Week and ask her to throw whatever she's holding in my face.
Barbra Streisand
This gown was custom-made for Barbra. And in the end, when she came out, I was like, "Yep. She looks like Barbra." She loves an Austen-esque empire waist. Maybe she should remake Pride and Prejudice and make herself Mrs. Bennet. Or Lizzie. Do it with the Older Set and make... I don't know, Elaine Stritch Mrs. Bennet, and Helen Mirren as Lydia, and Ellen Burstyn as Jane. What am I even doing right now, by the way? Stop typing.