RDJ

Glittery bow tie: Yes. On him, anyway. He is dapper with a hint of goofball, just like the tie itself.

Emily VanCamp

The shoes are funky; the dress might be the wrong length. It needs to be a touch shorter or a touch longer, right? As it is: fashion no-man's-land.

Missi Pyle

Missi arrived early, partly in service of The Artist, but mostly to promote her eco-friendly dress. Which would do eco-friendly dresses a much greater service if it were a better design. As it is, it's making it way too easy for me to joke that it's eco-friendly because it only used 2/3 of the fabric HEY-YOOOOOOO.

Vanessa Hudgens

This girl seems to be having fit issues right now. It's a pretty dress that looks about as comfortable and flexible as a paper-towel tube.

Ashley Tisdale

This gown, with its red and its nude panels, reminded me so much of Connie Britton's Emmy gown that I looked up whether they are the same designer, and they are: Maria Lucia Hohan. Unfortunately, I just keep thinking her strapless bra is oozing out the side.

Maria Menounos

This was ALSO a Maria Lucia Hohan, and you can tell. She's got her signature, I guess. It's pretty, but she's also the ideal person to put your clothes on, because she's so beautifully built.

Michelle Rodriguez

Let's all consider what Michelle Rodriguez wore last year, and then send up a prayer of thanks for the improvement. Even though I keep getting tricked into thinking it's off-center, it's still not made primarily of panties.

Salma Hayek

This is... fine. I am not wild about the braid, but I just could NOT muster up anything else to say about it. It's not bad. It's not great. My socks are most definitely still on my feet.

Olivia Wilde

I kept forgetting she was even there. This, despite her PR people working so hard for her that we got an e-mail about what she was wearing at the after-party before the Oscars themselves were even finished. And for what? Again, it's fine. It's error-free and that's about it.

Penelope Ann Miller

The Notorious P.A.M., as I took to calling her in jest, was the first person on the red carpet. With her hair and skin tone, I wish she'd veered away from baby pink sparkles, and I wish it fit her better. But I guess Will Arnett has a type, eh? That being: platinum blondes with names that begin with Ps and As. So, you know, totes the same.

Lea Thompson

Oh, Lorraine. I am not enchanted under your sartorial sea, so to speak, but you are aging SO WELL.

Sarah Hyland

This is so-so for me, as well -- great color, but it just sort of sits on her, as if they are two distinct beings yoked together and trying to make the best of it. The best dresses are often the ones where it's so seamless -- I don't mean tight; I just mean great -- that you start to forget girl and gown aren't one and the same. Know what I mean? I see Sarah, and I see the dress, but I'm not sure I see Sarah In The Dress. SO PROFOUND.

Anna Paquin

I like this Pucci, but I think I might prefer it if it were sleeveless. Just because there is SO much pattern, it becomes overwhelming. But I still like it. I DO. I SWEAR.

Oscars Fugs and Fabs: The Rest (Enticing Headline, I Know)

This is the part of the week where we feel tapped out, like we've made every comment that could ever exist about any dress, ever, in the history of dresses. And yet there are always pictures left in our lightboxes, the ones we would glance at and then think, "Eh, I'll do that later," or, "I need to think about it," and then suddenly it's Friday morning and we just don't have any gas left in the tank. But in the interests of being as complete as we can, we want to give you RDJ, and Salma, and Paquin, and Michelle Rodriguez, and Emily "Revenge" VanCamp... we just want you to have nice things, Fug Nation. And sometimes a leisurely Friday oglefest is exactly what the Fug Doctor ordered. [Photos: Getty]