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# Oscars HBC Carpet: She Who Need Not Be Named
- URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/oscars-hbc-carpet-she-who-need-not-be-named/
- Published: 2011-02-28T15:00:43.000Z
- Updated: 2015-02-26T01:06:50.000Z
- Author: Heather
- Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:27

## Helena Bonham Carter

![Helena Bonham Carter](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2011/02/109478532.jpg)

This is the part where I say, "Damn, she's still a looker, even with Period Film Sex Head."

## Helena Bonham Carter

![Helena Bonham Carter](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2011/02/helenabonhamcarter109481104.jpg)

"But it's not ENOUGH, really is it? It's missing my usual PANACHE."

## Helena Bonham Carter

![Helena Bonham Carter](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2011/02/helenabonhamcarter109480055.jpg)

"Oh, hark! What might this be?"

## Helena Bonham Carter

![Helena Bonham Carter](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2011/02/helenabonhamcarter109480095.jpg)

"It's a garter! But what you don't know is that it's also a luggage tag."

## Helena Bonham Carter

![Helena Bonham Carter](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2011/02/helenabonhamcarter_109481423.jpg)

"It says, 'If found, return to: ENGLAND. They'll take it from there.'"

## Helena Bonham Carter

![Helena Bonham Carter](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2011/02/helenabonhamcarter109478633.jpg)

Aw. But doesn't this kind of melt your heart? They're each others' lobsters, y'all. Wait -- shoot. I shouldn't have said that, because they might get the idea to DRESS as lobsters next time, which... you know what? Never mind. I'd be fine with that.

[Oscars HBC Carpet: She Who Need Not Be NamedIf you haven't seen this Vulture piece on all the glorious things Helena Bonham Carter has brought to this awards season, you must -- especially the video of her BAFTA acceptance speech, which includes a reference to the activities of her underskirt. Watch that and then tell me she doesn't look like she'd be a laugh at a dive bar over some sodden pretzels and a Duvel. Although HBC did not commit any catastrophic crimes against global retinas -- as she had suggested she might -- she did at least bring a light dusting of crazeballs, and that's all I really needed to cheer me up on an overall really, really boring red carpet. She sort of looks like a Shakespeare production that's been run through a paper shredder. And that's really what Helena is: a treasure, slightly disheveled, like she's been buried for a while and somebody only just dug her up because the map was really hard to read and somebody -- ahem, Johnny Depp -- spilled rum on it.![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2011/02/109478532.jpg)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/oscars-hbc-carpet-she-who-need-not-be-named-02-2011/)