Zoe Saldana
Zoe here has set the bar fairly high in the avant garde department (remember the purple muppet skirt? Good thing she didn't try that THIS year or Miss Piggy would've HI-YA'd her into Avatar 20), which thus makes it easier for us to worry that she's veered into boring -- because her "boring" would still a thrill ride of deviance for most people. But... I can't think of a gown where this dopey, see-through, have-your-cake-and-eat-it drape has actually enhanced it for me; instead all it does is make me wonder what germ of a better dress lies therein. What would you do? Cut it off at the cocktail length? Remove the ENTIRE see-through part? Send it to the scrap heap? Make the bottom part opaque? Stick her in some stilettos and make her go play one-on-one with George Clooney? Beg her to discard it on the scrap heap where she will also make Bradley Cooper put his mustache? DISCUSS.
Zoe Saldana
This, I might have liked if it were longer. And it does need to be longer. Since when is "micro" insufficiently "mini"?
Zoe Saldana
And look at the hem. It looks like a tattered couch cushion -- like she goes to a gyno who upholsters his patients due to a rare disorder in which he can only examine a vagina if it's trussed up like an actual, rather than metaphorical, love seat.
Zoe Saldana
I mean, I'm getting a little uncomfortable just looking at her. Careful how you stand, Zoe.
Zoe Saldana
ACK, as Cathy would say. SWEAT DROPS.