Melissa Leo

I'm REALLY intrigued -- and repelled -- by the insect necklace. The last thing I would want on my big night is to feel like something is crawling up my sternum.

From here, though, I'm not out yet. The high collar is kind of stylish and she chose the right hair and earrings for it; the question is whether it works in full.

Melissa Leo

For me, it's... maybe a bit much. I'd have been intrgued if the white overlay was only on top, or maybe if it was MORE fitted and didn't have the slit, or... I'm not sure. All I know is, while I don't hate it, I don't know if I want to feel like she just came from a doily-making party. Because if there is any Oscar night attendee whom I could picture throwing a wicked doily jamboree, it's Melissa Leo.

What would you do with it?

poll by twiigs.com

Melissa Leo and Kirk Douglas

Kirk Douglas apparently ALSO wants to unfug this dress, if you get what I'm saying. Remember the part where I wasn't sure I would want to feel something creeping up my sternum on my big night? Yeah.

Melissa Leo & Kirk Douglas

This intrigued me, though: During Melissa's totally nutty kowtow to Kirk, it's revealed that she apparently changed into flats for the telecast. Can I revoke her award? I feel like it should be REQUIRED of all lady winners -- and maybe even the dudes -- to make it up the stairs, through a speech, and then off-stage in scary heels. Kind of like a rite of passage, or running the gauntlet.

Melissa Leo

Earlier in the weekend, Melissa wore this heavy gown, which I would also like to alter. Possibly by cutting it into pieces and then putting her into something else, but let's accentuate the positives: Her face, again. I'm torn between wanting to see this in cocktail-length, or wanting to cut off the sleeves, or... no, I think the shorter hemline wins for me, and a flared skirt from the waist rather than groin.

Melissa Leo

Again: Face yay, dress... confused. Naturally curly hair: Hooray. Shoes brought to you by a dinner theater production of A Chorus Line performed by people with chronically falling arches.

Melissa Leo

This maybe isn't as bad -- perhaps a tad Camilla Parker Bowles, but there are worse things. But the shoe choice is killing me. I know your feet hurt, but can't you at least work it on the red carpet and then change inside?

Melissa Leo

SOMEBODY's American Idol is Sharon Stone...

Melissa Leo

I want to make this a dress with proper shoulders and sleeves, and maybe also shave off the fabric at her knees. I don't know. It looks like maternity wear. A great color, but still like it was on Natalie Portman's reject pile.

Melissa Leo

However, is that another insect necklace? Is she a closet entomologist? Somehow that seems about right.

Oscars Weekend Unfug It Up: Melissa Leo

On a night full of some weird moments, let's start with what went well for Melissa Leo: Her face. (And the fact that she won the Oscar despite the world's most awkward, self-funded "Consider me" campaign. But whatever.) Things got strange from there, from Kirk Douglas's never-ending intro for the Supporting Actress category, to her abject worship of him, to his abject interest in re-deflowering her behind the garden shed. The rest of it is wholly open for debate -- both her Oscars dress (I tend to think it looks like an arts-and-crafts project, which would be awesome for the night if Franco was an artist whose canvas included both murder AND Melissa Leo's naked body, which would make for a catchy tagline, so maybe General Hospital should look into it), and, in fact, everything she wore leading up to the big day. It all leads me to conclude that Melissa Leo is: a) talented; b) loopy; c) REALLY lucky those "CONSIDER" ads didn't cause people to consider voting for Hailee Steinfeld, and d) the type of lady with whom you could have an entire conversation, and then after walking away, think, "Wait, what just happened?" So, take a gander, and then drop by the comments to play fantasy stylist with her entire cadre of outfits. She needs you, Fug Nation. She needs you so badly.