Fan Bingbing

I mean, this dress was CLEARLY something they made thinking that they'd get an actress in it at this exact ceremony. Full marks to Georgina Chapman. People used to dismiss Marchesa as red-carpet gowns and nothing else; then, when Marchesa tried to edge out, it got a reputation for totally hideous crazypants nonsense gowns. It makes you realize that being known for pretty princess red-carpet dresses is REALLY not such a bad fate, because at the end of the day, it's about being immortalized during an actress's big moment. You know Dior could not be happier right now -- even when she tripped Jennifer Lawrence's skirt looked phenomenal.

Fan Bingbing

And then she casually threw on an Oscar de la Renta for the Vanity Fair party. As you do. We all have one of these lying around for emergencies. Actually, I wish Anne Hathaway had one of these lying around for emergencies, and that someone had staged an intervention.

Fan Bingbing

This is pretty too -- it's Elie Saab -- but I need to know if those are actually her nipples I'm seeing, or just an optical illusion. It's... concerning. Does she even know? Does she care? Is this going to be an unpleasant surprise in her day? Or do I need a vision test because I'm seeing dark spots everywhere? I guess if the UPS guy shows up and I think I can see HIS nipples, then we'll know.

Oscars Well Played: Fan Bingbing

This Marchesa is the one that a little girl sitting next to us at Fashion Week SQUEALED over during the show. And in fact, when we wrote up that show, I said ,"I would love for someone to wear this to an awards show, just... to DO it." So THANK YOU, Bingbing. You have fulfilled a lot of people's inner-girl dreams. [Photos: Getty]