If you, like I, watched the Oscars red carpet and thought, "Where the hell are all the celebrities?", the answer is: going to the parties and not bothering with the ceremony -- in part, I think, because the show axed all of the montages other than the beloved Dead Person Montage, and therefore they weren't able to rope in as many people to present things. Because of how there was nothing to present, really. Which is why Charlize here ended up just going to Vanity Fair instead of presenting, like, a Montage of People Riding Horses, or whatever. Which, two things: a) I accidentally wrote that as, "a MONTAG riding horses" and PLEASE GOD if next year's Oscars involves footage of Heidi Montag on a horse, I QUIT, and b) I totally forgot what b was, in the aftermath of a. Let's cleanse our palate with Charlize.