Other Highlights From The Paris Menswear Shows

Russell Westbrook in Dior

** RIGHTS: ONLY UNITED STATES, CANADA ** Paris, FRANCE - Celebrities attend the Dior Homme Menswear Spring/Summer 2018 show as part of Paris Fashion Week in Paris, France. Pictured: Russel Westbrook BACKGRID USA 24 JUNE 2017 BYLINE MUST READ: Best Image / BACKGRID USA: +1 310 798 9111 / usasales@backgrid.com UK: +44 208 344 2007 / uksales@backgrid.com *UK Clients - Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*

Let us begin with Russell here, who is wearing a shirt tailored for him and pants designed for Elaine Benes.

in Louis Vuitton

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I laughed out loud when I got to this. It's as if someone told him to dress as if a yacht party might break out at any moment.

Lest we not recognize him. (I don't know what he's pointing at -- his watch, his wristband, his smile -- but I am charmed.)

Victor Cruz

attends the Balmain Menswear Spring/Summer 2018 show as part of Paris Fashion Week on June 24, 2017 in Paris, France.

From Balmain's straitjacket collection.

in LV

Those pants are never going to fit him.

Victor Cruz in Les Benjamins

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But Victor, your knees are going to let in all the rain that your coat repels! Bad planning.

Serge Ibaka in Dior

Considering those are cuffed formal sweatpants, this is pretty crisp.

Serge Ibaka in Balmain

But I like this much better. I have NO IDEA who the ladies are with him -- the caption didn't say -- so I'm going to let them pass without comment.

Serge Ibaka and James Harden in Valentino

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Do we think Serge's jacket would be a DRESS on me?

Carmelo Anthony in Valentino

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Honestly, it's the PANTS you should want to disappear into your environment, Melo.

in Dior

... I mean, it's less offensive than a LOT of Dior's logowear.

Rami Malek in Dior

Rami looks like he's about to release an album of inscrutable '80s synth-pop in a melange of languages.

Tyga in LV

Whereas Tyga looks like a guy who's on borrowed fame time and cannot pay his creditors.

Izabel Goulart in Valentino

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That might be very pretty if it actually behaved as a bodice.

Lily Allen in LV

This ENTIRE thing screams, "It's Saturday night and I just want to stay in and watch Bridget Jones's Baby and repaint my toes."

Naomi Campbell in LV

Whereas this screams, "I'm Naomi Campbell and I always win even when my tiny hair bun is trying to lose.

Christian Slater in Dior

He looks adorably geeky. That is a compliment. I love a geek.

Jimmy Butler in Dior

That is a good look on him. My favorite of the casual men's looks from Dior.

Jamie Bell and Kate Mara in Dior

That dress is fine on her, but LORD do I hate those shoes. I find them twee and wonky. They look like a gift box from the store. SEND THEM BACK

Noomi Rapace

And Noomi here was at times captioned as "Rooney Mara," because I guess "Noomi" sounds like "Rooney" and there WAS a Mara present and they DID both play Lisbeth Salander. But if you put the two of them in a Lisbeth thunderdome, I think Noomi would emerge the winner. Quickly. And her face suggests she knows it.