Waveslander
At the outset, even after a few days of drift, a dunking, and being forced to air dry everything on the sand, Claire's hair looks way more presentable than mine does when I wake up in the morning. And she appears to have picked up no sun so far, which is a damned miracle given that she was floating long enough in the open ocean to have found another island altogether and be nowhere near the ship.
Layerslander
Naturally, Claire makes wandering lonely as a cloud look really really good, though Outlander has a few ideas for making this as hard as possible.
Disgustinglander
No. 1: ANTS. EVERYWHERE. I shudder to think the other places she'd have gotten bitten as they all rushed up her skirt. Also, at first I looked at this and thought, "Oh, how thorough, they gave her leg hair." Nope. THAT'S JUST ALL ANTS.
Smoothlander
Claire is as clean-shaven as if she has a Mach-3 razor in her hotel shower. She does try to bandage her legs to avoid scratching and further injury, but... girl, if that worked, we'd be in pants all summer.
Scoutlander
Claire hates camping as much as I do.
Shitballslander
AND THEN. This is agonizingly slow, and even though Cait is obviously under the protection of a wrangler and the real snake isn't going to kill her, this has to be a real HOLY EFFING EFF moment in which you hope your first take is the best.
DeleteYourAccountlander
Claire really REALLY effing HATES CAMPING.
Kinklander
Mamacita doesn't get enough credit for now nicely kept this house is. Nor for her ability to make a salve or tie a good strong S&M knot.
Chokelander
I found myself gasping a bit for air along with Claire as Mamacita poured water down her throat.
SPFlander
It's also important to note that this, right here, is the most sunburned she ever looked in this episode. The flush level rises and falls somewhat inconsistently, but given that she was on foot for at least three days and floating for who knows how long before that, she got off REALLY lightly with the sun damage.
Pedilander
I also find it amusing that this show is METICULOUS with some details, like the near-constant level of grime on Jamie's nails, but Cait's feet are allowed to look absolutely flawless and freshly done even though they should be rubbed raw.
Fogdonlander
"How DID you walk for days and not suffer?"
Massagelander
"There's a day spa four goat carcasses to the west."
Cocolander
"And your curl formation? Coco is most envious."
JohnFriedalander
"A serum of FEAR."
Mamalander
"IT'S A WIG, MORON. THAT'S NOT HER NATURAL PART."
Distastelander
I'm sort of sorry to see Mamacita and Father Fogdon go. He's well-meaning, if a little creepy at this point in his life of having no one but animals and his mother-in-law, and she's deliciously cranky.
Calgonlander
Caitriona Balfe nails the feeling of taking your first bath in way too long. And let's cheer Claire again for getting NO rogue tan lines.
Frocklander
That is Ermenegilda's dress -- the one Mamacita so loathed the idea of Claire borrowing. It got precious little screen time and I'm sure lots of people worked on it, so: This is your moment, team.
Wiglander
In case you are wondering, Claire's hair even exists in a damp state in magical, majestic ways.
Chatlander
"Oh, hey, Coco, um... you're looking nicely flat-ironed today."
Palslander!!!
Claire's total inability to convincingly converse with a coconut does NOT come back to bite her, although I had hoped Fogden would pull her over later and be like, "By the way Coco only speaks French-Polynesian and he would NEVER have used the word 'lovely.'"
Goatlander
Oh, Arabella. Up until this point, Fogden seemed to think Claire's presence was a harbinger of good luck -- a goat gave birth, for example -- but perhaps he should rethink that.
Vistalander
Nothing like a good establishing shot.
Telescopelander
"JAMIE! JAMIE! YOU FORGOT MY GENITALS!"
Smoochlander
Welcome back together, you crazy kids. Now can you please STAY THIS WAY for a while?
Broslander
These two had a funny moment, wherein they noted with some curiosity how "Mac Dubh's wife" keeps dropping in out of nowhere in the oddest places. It DOES make sense that someone would notice that about her.
Weddinglander
And then they all got married, and the Ewoks did not crash the ceremony.
Grinslander
And Marsali was so, so pleased to be marrying Debra Messing from Smash.
Pridelander
This was a nice warm moment for Jamie and Claire, as he essentially brings Fergus into his family in TWO ways.
Makeuplander
They had Jamie rip off his shirt for like 20 seconds of reverse humping. I always think about what an arduous time they have in the makeup chair, applying all the back wounds, JUST for that. Did they HAVE to want to have sex in front of a mirror? Wait, scratch that, they're never NOT going to show Sam Heughan's rump if they can, so... carry on, all. It's the Lord's work.
CheckYourselflander
Stop listening, Willoughby, you delightful old perv.
