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# Outlander recap, S3 E12, "The Bakra"
- URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/outlander-recap-s3-e12-the-bakra/
- Published: 2017-12-05T18:45:21.000Z
- Updated: 2017-12-05T17:44:40.000Z
- Author: Heather
- Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:51

## Leglander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-2-1512455102.jpeg)

This is the first glimpse we have of The Bakra, and it is the silliest thing. She's just poking and waving her leg around. But please consider for a second what position she had to be in so that her leg could rise vertically from a pool without him being able to see the rest of her. On her back, right? Floating on her back.

## Syruplander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-3-1512455113.jpeg)

Except not, because NONE of the back of her hair is stained with blood. She was, in fact, standing in the pool up to her neck. Did she DETACH her leg? Or keep a spare one in there for theatrical effect? She IS a witch, after all.

## Reveallander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-1-1512455138.jpeg)

"I am quadruple-jointed, fools."

## Rinselander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-4-1512455125.jpeg)

"Pardon me while I dump three jugs of water on myself and proclaim myself clean. And I absolutely cannot get my hair wet, for reasons that are unknown to all but me. I'll write a book someday."

## Cleanlander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-5-1512455149.jpeg)

Maybe the blood all just absorbed right into her legs without a trace. If that works, then excuse me while I fill up a hot tub with... huh, well, the best I'm gonna do is ketchup.

## Fetishlander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-31-1512455174.jpeg)

She must have a LOT of nerve endings in her feet.

## Frocklander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-6-1512455187.jpeg)

Marsali definitely got the better end of the wardrobe stick. Supposedly they packed a bunch of Claire's duds, but she's only ever worn the same dress, washed... what, once?

## Auctionlander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-32-1512455217.jpeg)

I wasn't able to get a good grab of Claire going full Britney and whacking the slave vendor with her parasol, so this is right beforehand, when poor Temeraire was being... massaged. Caitriona Balfe looked nauseated the entire time she shot on this set, and I bet that wasn't hard.

## Prooflander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-7-1512455230.jpeg)

"So wait, now history thinks I was a slave owner and this is going to appear in some Hall of Records that Brianna will find in the Harvard library!?"

## Coiflander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-8-1512455242.jpeg)

"Aye, but I've changed my bangs."

## Dubiouslander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-9-1512455253.jpeg)

"I don't know whether I can trust a man who did that to his hair."

## Tricornlander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-10-1512455267.jpeg)

"Aye, why d'ya think I went back to the hat?!?"

## Plantationlander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-11-1512455278.jpeg)

So, this is Batshit Cove, aka Geillis's plantation. I wonder if it'll turn out that she gets killed, the slaves she's been buying and breeding eventually take over the plantation and the Abernathy name, Joe Abernathy turns out to be descended from them, and gets sent what he doesn't realize is Geillis's skeleton in 1968\. That would be exciting.

## Gownlander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-12-1512455292.jpeg)

Geillis is living VERY large. Not only can she afford copious goats to bleed for her baths, but she's got some heavy fabrics for clothes. And this is just her Banging Around The House dress.

## WHAAATlander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-17-1512455310.jpeg)

Indeed, she blew all her money on goats and forgot to spend it on a party wig. Maybe she made it earlier from Ian's hair.

## Dapperlander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-13-1512455329.jpeg)

Willoughby looks very nice in his handsome blue coat. I'm unclear where these gentlemen got THEIR fancy new duds.

## Doppelgangerlander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-14-1512455342.jpeg)

And for a brief moment, Natalie Portman's somewhat more manic cousin hits on Willoughby.

## Hotlander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-34-1512455420.jpeg)

"I remember when we used to have sex every five minutes."

## Hottlander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-35-1512455446.jpeg)

"Oh, I remember you lasting a lot longer than that each time."

## Hotttlander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-36-1512455459.jpeg)

"Aye, if memory serves, I was in your skirts more than I was inside my own."

## Hotttlander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-37-1512455471.jpeg)

"I think my ovaries just exploded."

## Hottttlander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-38-1512455483.jpeg)

"I'd better send in a rescue team."

## Hotttttlander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-39-1512455495.jpeg)

"They'd better travel by rocket."

## Stoplander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-40-1512455509.jpeg)

In which Jamie learns what a record-scratch feels like.

## Shocklander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-15-1512455354.jpeg)

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh WHAAAAT IS IT MY BIRTHDAY HAVE I BEEN SENT A MANCAKE?"

## Bakerylander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-16-1512455366.jpeg)

"Aye."

## Dreamylander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-43-1512455548.jpeg)

"I can't believe I get to look at you again and you're exactly the same, and oh, god, you were so dirty when I fell in love with you and you smell like EVERYTHING PERFECT."

## OcularHuglander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-41-1512455522.jpeg)

"I know what you are thinking and it's okay because it's important to you."

## Squeeeelander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-18-1512455377.jpeg)

"I AM HAVING TROUBLE WITH MY PANTS."

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-20-1512455388.jpeg)

"Oh wait maybe I'm just feeling this this souvenir of you that I hooked to my pelvis."

## MmmmHmmmmlander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-44-1512455560.jpeg)

"Well, as exciting as it is to watch my husband have a relationship I don't understand with another person, I'm pretty sure we were in the middle of eye sex, soooooo..."

## Toastlander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-23-1512455929.jpeg)

"Okay but so you're really back, like REALLY really, like Jamie has a lock for his key now and he's not gonna need to find a locksmith, or like even CHANGE his locks at all, or anything...?"

## Nopelander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-24-1512455913.jpeg)

"Not a chance. I cut that key myself."

## Weeplander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-47-1512455574.jpeg)

"Oh. Well. I mean I guess you know what you're doing."

## Garblander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-26-1512455662.jpeg)

Seriously, Geillis's outfit is so WEIRD. Is she really insane enough to seduce and kill lots of boys on this island, while also drawing as much attention to herself and her own strangeness as possible? Is Geillis ALSO terrible at plans?

## Peeringlander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-27-1512455638.jpeg)

"It really IS a hideous wig, isn't it? And I say that as someone who is wearing THIS one. But I still look super bangable in it, so."

## Screamlander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-28-1512455685.jpeg)

Margaret, it must be said, has excellent Screeching Prophecy Face.

## Freelander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-29-1512455674.jpeg)

The scene in which Jamie and Claire release Temeraire to find the compound of escaped slaves, which is kind of a disappointingly perfunctory way to ditch him, is very short and emotionless. Boo.

## Leonardlander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-48-1512455586.jpeg)

But then LOOK. CAP'N FETUS AHOY.

## Symbolismlander

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-S3-E12-recap-22-1512455901.jpeg)

Oh, and just in case you thought I was kidding about Willoughby clutching Margaret's hand while fountains ejaculated into the skies. It was real. So real. GET SOME, EVERYONE.

[Outlander recap: The Ballad of the BakraThis episode was PACKED WITH INSANITY.![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2017/12/outlander-s3-e12-recap-34-1512455625.jpg)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/outlander-recap-the-ballad-of-the-bakra-12-2017/)