Cornlander
I'm just going to say it: Tricorn hats WORK.
Rerunlander
This is NotAngus and NotEyepatch. And I am NotThatInterested.
HunkofJunklander
This is the Artemis, maligned lightly in the hour as being essentially the Milennium Falcon of Outlander: essentially worthless, but it'll get you there, although it needed 20 parseks to complete the Kessel Run. (Which obviously is named for Phil Kessel. HASHTAG HOCKEY RULES.
Coltslander
Look how happy Claire is when she mocks the horseshoe tradition by begrudgingly smacking it. I would have been like, "SIGN ME UP FOR YOUR CRACKPOT THEORY." Also I think maybe the Indianapolis Colts should look into whether Andrew Luck neglected to touch it
Handfastlander
"YAY! I AM GOING TO LIE WITH YOUR PROTEGE, AND HE GREW UP IN A BROTHEL, SO HE KNOWS WHERE THE SECRET POCKETS ARE!!"
Tastylander
"STAY COOL MARSELI DON'T LOOK TOO HUNGRY."
Defiancelander
"I AM TOTALLY COMFORTABLE BLACKMAILING MY STEPFATHER WITH MY HYMEN SO BRING IT DAD."
Foxylander
"No one listens to me but at least I'm f*cking gorgeous."
Trunklander
It's revealed that Jenny -- believing them still to be en route to France -- sent along this trunk of Claire's things. Jamie insists he couldn't bear to sell them, but he did let Marsali alter a couple. And... I do not believe for a SECOND that Jenny would have kept those for TWENTY YEARS without burning them or using them to make clothes for her 5600 grandchildren. Hell, I think she'd have burned them IN FRONT OF CLAIRE last week, just out of delicious pettyness
Chamberslander
Are there no other senior crew members who get to dine with the Captain, aside from Supercargo and his wife? Supercargo, though, was barfing his guts out so he couldn't make it. I am so relieved this didn't devolve into another Outlander near-miss rape.
WTFlander
This is the face of a woman who, despite time-traveling, thinks superstitions are worthless. (I do sort of appreciate her inability NOT to speak her mind.)
Artlander
And here's Willoughby. Just close your eyes and imagine the most stereotypical music that could be used here, and you will be right.
Hurllander
No... one... barfs like MacDubh... hurls and snarfs like MacDubh... in a puking match nobody flarfs like MacDubh. He's especially good at regurgitating... my, what a guy, that MacDubh.
SATANlander
I'm honestly surprised Claire didn't think of the acupuncture instead of brewing ginger tea, but whatever. I do enjoy that the tent on his forehead looks faintly like the Deathly Hallows.
Mocklander
"It's okay, Sam, I absolutely am NOT laughing at how your wig looks today."
Curlslander
Speaking of wigs, whoever is in charge of Cait's did a STELLAR job with this one.
Floplander
But not this one.
Nostalgialander
This is our obligatory scene in which Claire is forced to remember that she's a mother, and pretend she liked it. (As seen on-screen, Claire and Brianna had very little chemistry until it was clear they'd be parting company.) Claire does quote Goodnight Moon and sniffle about Brianna's love of rabbits, and instead of banging like some, these two just cuddle under the moonlight. I thought he was going to take her right there next to the Whatever That Giant Rod Is, but maybe he was feeling self-conscious next to that.
Rodlander
"WHEREAS I AM TOTALLY FINE WITH THIS APPROXIMATION OF MY MANHOOD AND ALSO I'M TOTALLY NOT COMING DOWN EXCEPT FOR WHEN YOU MAKE ME."
Prairielander
Can Claire and Jamie travel through to another place and time, and become friends with Ma and Pa Ingalls?
ANGUISHlander
"O MIGHTY PLEASURES OF THE FLESH, RIPE LIKE APPLES, THE TASTE OF PLUMS, THE MOUNDS THAT SMELL OF ELDERBERRIES, THE RIPE JUICY PEACHES I TRIED TO STAB WITH A BANANA..."
Smirklander
"If only he knew about the juicing craze."
Ehlander
"I think it's time ye learnt where babies come from, mate."
NotAEunuchlander
"VILE, FOUL, GRACELESS SWINE CREATURES OF SCOTLAND WITH THEIR MANGLED BREASTS WHO WON'T LET ME PUT ANY OF THEM INTO MY MOUTH!"
Hurtlander
"Well if he'd just ASKED..."
Hurtlander II
"Well if he'd just ASKED..."
Windlander
And then BOOM, the big finish: Willoughby's papers catch on the wind and fly away and soak into the water and probably lead to global warming.
Yaylander
"Whee! The strange eunuch with the theme song turned out to be magic!"
Boinklander
Well. Willoughby may not be able to get it on, but these two sure can.
Greylander
Jamie's adoration of the gray hair IS sweet.
Rivallander
"Hmm. Well. It's spacious enough. Clean. Nice moulding. Newer appliances. Tarps are a ghastly color but nothing's perfect. We'll TAKE IT."
Weasellander
Oh, CLAIRE, look at this squirrelly child. He was never going to let you leave. He's got all KINDS of things to ask you about pimples and body hair.
Nooooooolander
"JAMES! NO! I'M TRAPPED IN A BAD GREEN-SCREEN!"