Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
Stella did something like this, too. Is 2016 the year my potato-chip bloat goes haywire?
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
This looks like a hybrid of Valentino and Yeezy. Look at all that hosiery under there.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
I am NOT ready to be layering ballet costumes over turtleneck sweaters. Luckily I don't any ballet costumes, so it seems unlucky I will fall prey to this one.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
... Yeezy Bridal?
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
No but seriously, whose acid trip was this? Why does it feel like they ARE trying to design for Jenndashian?
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
I am so confused. This garment looks like punishment.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
Finally something reasonable.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
"Oh, whoops, that's right, we sometimes dress the Mara sisters. Start churning out the neutrals, everyone."
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
Just imagine Rooney in this with her dark red lips, hair in a braid, chin dipped low, eyes peeking timidly up at you.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
I am not at all convinced that necklace isn't a robo-arachnid.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
This might be more Kate than Rooney. I could also see Jessica Chastain in this.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
The problem is that some of these things probably look very arresting on a runway, as part of an artistic vision, but then some celeb gets seduced into wearing it and things go haywire.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
By all means, only use the pretty fabric for 5 percent o the dress.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
The models' exuberant, uplifting affect brings so much joy to the proceedings.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
Crazy Christmas Sweater: The Dress.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
Aspects of this are pretty. Stick it on... Zendaya?
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
I just really am confused as to when Valentino decided its target market was dancers.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
It's amazing! In the sense of how unflattering it is.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
More punky Rooney Mara potential.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
More batshit bananas tomfoolery.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
This feels like someone is raiding an old costume shop, trying on outfits for a school play over what she wore that day.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
So many '90s vibes running through fashion week now.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
Whatever is under there, I'm sure we'll see. Hopefully it will be without Santa Claus's beard trimmings.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
Take a coat break with me.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
And them come back and yelp with me.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
I keep thinking my eyesight is going and that this is blurry, but no, it's a double-tank top situation.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
I wish that didn't devolve into tulle. It ALWAYS looks like the person behind the workmanship walked off the job.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
Another Mara Special.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
But there were also oddly simple things like the in the mix. I excised a lot of them for space and length issues, but basically, this collection felt all OVER the map.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
Designed by a Buzzfeed article on Life Hacks From The Target Bathroom Aisles.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
So much importance is being placed on the crotch with this collection.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
I dread the day we see it again, and yet I know it will come.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
I like this overall look in a runway sense, and I REALLY like the starfish fabric. I just wish it had an actual bodice.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
Turtlenecks again. So many turtlenecks. And SO much thermal shape wear.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
WHY IS THE TURTLENECK THERE. YOU ARE UNWELCOME, SIR.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
BEGONE, WINTRY GARMENT OF WOE. Put down the velvet and walk away.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
MINE EYES. THEY BURN LIKE SATAN'S FOOT SWEAT.
Valentino Fall 2016 at Paris Fashion Week
And then this feels very much like somebody counted up the REST of the collection, went, "Oh, god, no one can wear most of this," and churned this out in three hours.