Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Let's start with something pretty that makes me happy. I would not be mad at Jennifer Lawrence or Marion Cotillard or Natalie Portman, or the other Diorphiles, for wearing this. ... Well, okay, there's a chance I could be, because maybe it would look crazy on them (DOUBTFUL), so let's say that I will not be mad at them for TRYING to wear this.
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Looks like she picked the wrong day to start spreading herself in glue and writhing on plastic Home Depot sheeting.
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Not to keep bringing her up, but Robin Givhan made the point about this show that a lot of ladies show up to it wearing head-to-toe Dior from the proper season, and that she couldn't imagine many of the clothes working on ANY of them come March when they all put these on and come for the next batch. This unusual design strikes me as one of the more wearable dresses, and yet I too have no idea how that's going to work on the red carpet or in the real world. I'm REALLY curious, though, and I want someone to try. If Nina Dobrev were at Dior level yet, I think she'd be a good person to give it a whack.
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
I don't like this as much, because I don't like the black strap AND the sleeve being on the same side.
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Is this for Natalie Portman? Because being the wife of a choreographer and the Boss of Frenchy Ballet Things (okay: Director of Dance at the Paris Opera Ballet, starting 2014) is the only reason I can think of for a formal business tutu.
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
This is SO getting worn. And soon. Hopefully without the neck snake.
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
From this angle it looks like she's wearing a Princess backpack with her paper shredder dress.
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
The paper-shredder effect is MUCH better on this dress. I want to put this on Catherine Zeta-Jones. Is that nuts? I just feel like she dresses as if she is older than she is -- maybe overcompensating for her partner's age; Julianne Hough did the same, consciously or not, when she was with Seacrest -- and I just want CZJ to come out and bombshell it up with her bangin' shoulders and trim waist.
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
I'm thinking Nicole Kidman will be at least CURIOUS.
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Things shouldn't look like they got tucked in bizarre places during a bathroom break.
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
... is that IN PLACE OF a purse?
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Looking like your butt is on backward is hot for spring.
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
I hate the seams on that skirt like I hate blisters.
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
It doesn't even really MATTER if that's a leotard or a shirt tucked into the skirt, because SHE'S WEARING A CHEF'S TOQUE AS A SKIRT.
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Oh, yeah, nipples TOTALLY make it better.
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
I like the idea of that skirt, but what the HECK is happening around it?
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Well.... I would ask the shoes on a second date, I guess.
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
A rule I try to live by is, "Don't make anyone read your crotch."
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
And now we get to... pleated skirt-shorts? Not a skort, really, because it's trying to SHOW you it's both rather than hide its true nature behind something else.
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
I feel like it's a party foul if anyone OTHER than Cotillard tries to put this on, because could anyone else make sense of it?
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
I cannot imagine spending what this must cost on what amounts to an erranding dress. One that requires shoulder SPF ONLY.
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
This is making me question if what I thought was a long jacket over a skirt in Outfit #1 was, in fact, just a weirdo skirt. Great colors, though. At least it would be fun to watch it move down the runway, and then promptly not purchase it.
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
The bag is yes. The dress will always, I suspect, make the wearer wish she had ironed it. And even if she had, she'll still feel like it wasn't enough.
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
She's on the Hufflepuff synchronized swimming team.
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
And then a preppy breeze blows in...
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
I both hate this and really like it. I know, I know. She looks like a walk of shame, and it's possibly going to be incredibly unflattering on somebody. But then I picture Diane Kruger in this and wonder if it might be amazing, especially if she uses the green shoes that play off the skirt.
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
This is also quite striking.
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
I can't wait until I'm doing my eye makeup just like that. The beans' teachers will have me checked for a concussion.
Christian Dior: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
These were nowhere in our subscription, except here at the end. Count on seeing those all over the place, in one form or another. Julianne Moore: check. J.Lawr: possible check. Hailee Steinfeld: I could see it. They're pretty, but they also feel like a last-ditch move, like, "Okay, and after all that other stuff, here's something EASY you can do! Everybody buy three!" And they'll be so relieved that they probably will.