Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
MASKS. YES. I could see Kanye thinking that is the dopest performance art ever, and Kim being disappointed when she learns he doesn't mean for her to lie around the hotel room wearing cucumber paste.
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
If Riccardo Tisci would make this in flesh tone, J.Lo would be all OVER it.
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
It's SO NICE when you find a dress that has a matching hand towel. (That said, I don't hate this. Stockholm Syndrome again.)
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
I feel like you need the chutzpah of a Kerry Washington to make this happen. Or a Freida Pinto. RIcher skin tones are easier with pale yellows.
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
There is a lot of interest herein this cloth that's being ... very nakedly handled.
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
The effect of those skirts is actually quite pretty and I bet it looked fabulous in motion, but the bodices look like they put the gowns on backward. And the masks, here, look like he's saying, "SCREW THEIR FACES. WOMEN ARE ABOUT BREASTS."
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Women are ALSO apparently about being villains in either a) The Matrix, or b) a Matrix-themed casino.
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
It's not that I LIKE this, but it's a good example, to me, of how it's so much better when you don't see navel.
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
I guess big, aggressive flat shoes are coming in for spring. Hopefully only in Paris.
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
These are very Comely Servant Girl In A Gladiator Movie Who Brings The Prisoner Carrots And Eventually Falls In Love With His Abs.
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
And this is the boss of said prison service wenches -- like their Mother Superior -- and she's NEVER amused when they fall in love with gladiator abs... but she also has a SECRET PAST with a gladiator whose head was cut off and raised on a spike, so obviously: FEELINGS.
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Let's go with villagers here. They're extras. They're just here to watch some blood get spilled in the Colosseum and maybe buy some gelato from the cute dude who sells it in section G.
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
And she's the lemonade stand.
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Um. Slaves to the emperor?
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
And now we're getting into, like, color-coded housemaids. Olive green is in charge of the garden, or stocking the bar, or something, and orange does all the emperor's juicing.
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
This, hilariously, comes off like only one version of the dress was properly sewn and the other was stuck together using boob tape that couldn't hang in there.
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Please, Kim. Please. PLEASE.
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
BUY ONE FOR KRIS JENNER.
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Doesn't this seem so regular, in comparison?
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Okay, we're back to the gladiator movie. Or maybe The Hunger Games. Like, the one on the left is one of the servant characters who's had a tongue removed, and the one on the right is On The Path but hasn't screwed up yet but she's FEISTY and she's also probably pleasured a tribute at least once.
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
This model looks like the marriage of Liberty Ross and Toni Collette.
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
This outfit says, "A member (or members) of Motley Crue was here."
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
This outfit says, "A member (or members) of Motley Crue was here and I REALLY HAVE TO LEAVE."
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
This outfit says, "Don't wear me."
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
So serious. This show also has so many fabrics that could have been so cool if put to a different use. I say that all the time, but it's always true. I mean, we'll see -- I'm sure this will end up on someone in the form of a cocktail dress, or something, where it's almost entirely departed from this original design, and then we'll see.
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Kim loves hideous pants, and things that show her bra. WRITE IT DOWN.
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
I mean, really, many items in this line are fairly Kardvenchy, although this one maybe not in the red color -- for some reason I don't see Kim in merlot.
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Yup. Kardvenchy.
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
I hate those plastic shoes so much. And the coat is another item that could TOTALLY end up on Kim's body for paparazzi shots such as Kim And Kanye Leave A Restaurant.
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Kim is so wearing one of these. Probably the left one, because it's a maxi dress. With some sort of drapery that could announce her chest.
Givenchy: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
When Kim has one post-partem shoulder she's really proud of, this will be ideal, obviously.