Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
This is typically flattering and well thought-out.
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
This photo has the strange effect of making Joan Smalls' right leg look like it's attached in the wrong place. The dress itself? Refried transparency.
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
... refried again and again...
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
... and again, and again. I fear this lineup is going to be the new version of that gangrene dress everyone inexplicably wore.
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
How To Widen Hips And Distort Crotches, by Stella McCartney. Coming soon to a bookseller near you.
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Don't you sense a certain LOOK in the eye of the model on the right? A sense of desperation? A silent "I know, I can't believe this either" kind of wail?
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
And here's another pantsuit Stella can wear without hemming it first.
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
And MORE. These aren't awful but there's something very Stella's Footsoldiers about it.
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
This reminds me of 13 Going on 30, and that scene they used on all the posters where J.Gar is desperate to get out of the house so she throws a coat on over her silky nightie. Except that coat was actually cute.
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
I couldn't hate those shoes more. She looks like she's on her way to take a shower in the dorm.
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
This is a perfectly adequate shirt-dress and then THOSE SHOES AGAIN.
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
At least this time we can't SEE the shoes. We will also surely see this on Rihanna, right? Although I feel like we already DID see it on Rihanna.
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
It's fine. Next.
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
I don't hate it, and then the skirt happens and I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO HAVE A NEW IDEA.
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
I'm a bit depressed by this. And her bangs are giving me the finger.
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Whatever, ti's fine, someone's stylist will fix whatever is wonky about it and then I AM GOING TO PUT THOSE SHOES IN THE OVEN ON 450 AND COOK UNTIL DEAD.
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Cute coat?
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
All right, I don't hate that. Maybe Stella should ONLY make things that are kin to jackets and blazers.
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
I take that back.
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Of all her hideous jumpsuits and coveralls and whatnot, I hate this... less.
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Ehhhhh. Nice bra straps. But I guess at least everything in this is supported.
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Potentially okay if it were fitted.
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
Everything just feels overly big, but not in that "hip and well-tailored volume" kind of way; rather, in a dowdy one.
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
More peekaboo thigh. This sounds like an iPhone app. Peekaboo Thigh. They DO have Peekaboo Barn and the like...
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
This at least feels marginally crisper, but only marginally.
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
AND MORE, this time with more unflattering volume to go with it. Because it's best to pile on the fug.
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
If ANYONE wears this, it's Gwyneth, who is the only person in the world who can wear white and not ruin it with stains (or so it feels like). But I bet, at most, we'll see the coat.
Stella McCartney: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2014
What a gorgeous deep red that's being ill-used here. Sigh.