YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
Aren't we over True Grit by now? This picture is going to give Hailee Steinfeld some serious flashbacks.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
Maybe "sexy Western" is the next genre. We've done gritty and unintelligible in a Shakespearean way (Deadwood), and we've done hat-centric Hill Country deputy-style justice (Justified), and we've done Space Cowboys (Firefly) and we've done gangsters of love (Boardwalk Empire? The Sopranos? I don't know, I didn't/don't watch them). But Sexy Western? Not on the table yet, right? Let's make that happen. Of course, this would be useful only if Sexy Western were set in the '70s.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
Part of me wants that coat. I think it's the part of me that was born in Houston. Well, technically that was all of me, but you know. Suppression.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
I do very much like this coat. I'm sure it will pop up in one of those Us Weekly budget-swap pieces where this costs $3000 and the swap version looks nothing like it and is shedding suede and costs $39 at Forever 21.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
This feels very Nicole Richie. Or Jessica Simpson, if she can convince anyone to give her clothes anymore. Oh, Florence Welch might put in an order for one. It's caftanic, and you know how she feels about caftans. If she were to build an unsinkable cruise ship, it would be the Caftanic.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
Why isn't Jennifer Lopez at THIS show? Those hats are right up her street.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
Dearest SWINTON, I hope you are ordering this in three colors.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
When Sexy Western happens and they cast Helena Bonham Carter, this will be what she wears in the pilot. What can we CALL Sexy Western? I mean, Sexy Western is obviously a winning title, but it's so direct. Let's brainstorm later.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
This is Rachel Zoe meets GOOP meets a clown.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
What UP, Zorro? I'm thinking Johnny Depp should start wearing this.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
I'm sure YSL would hope for Gaga -- that woman would just yank the hat down further and then cut eye holes into it -- but personally, I am rooting for Angelina Jolie to start wearing stuff like this.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
Jo-LIE. Jo-LIE. Jo-LIE.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
I'm having the strangest yen for Lindsay Lohan to wear this around town to, like, The Ivy and then Kitson and whatever other paparazzi havens she can find.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
Please can Mariah Carey bust this out on American Idol. PLEASE.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
This is what Paris Hilton would wear if she decided to become a vigilante. But she's not allowed on Sexy Western, on principle. MAYBE on the knockoff Web series Sexy Best Western, but that's as far as it can go.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
Cloris Leachman. Obviously.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
I like both of these glitter shirts, and clearly now need some leather pants. Except for -- which Jessica also just cited on Twitter in regard to HER attempt at leather pants -- the fact that Ross Gellar and his powder-paste antics have made me terrified of them.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
Sparkly! I like all the things that are sparkling in these outfits. Also, that middle model is the one I refer to as Tall Elisabeth Moss every time we see her at Fashion Week. It's there. Trust.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
This is Tunictown now, I guess. MORE Rachel Zoe. She's going to want that one on the left, and to get it she's going to have to fight, like, Uma Thurman, or something.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
I like a ruffle shirt. Rose Byrne, maybe? Feels just random enough to make sense.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
I also love the cropped military jacket. The bermuda shorts, not so much.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
Juliette Lewis loves a hairy coat. And she's been distinctly MIA lately. Maybe it's time for a comeback.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
Did we need this many iterations of this look?
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
This is in the Sexy Western spinoff called Sexy Western Hitman.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
And now we're getting into Colonel Sanders. Whenever my kids want chicken nuggets, they call it going on Chicken Adventure. So I'm calling this, obviously, Sexy Chicken Adventure.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
Colonel Sanders WISHES his blazers were that cute.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
These are interesting. Biel or Beckinsale, perhaps, for the first one? Actually Beckinsale would do the one on the right, I think. And Biel probably needs something more dramatic.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
I kind of want to skip this slide. Can I? Please?
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
OKAY. Here we go. Giant keyhole. Who loves their boobs... Lea Michele? Jennifer Lopez? Ooh, I wouldn't say Rooney Mara loves to show off the underboob, but this does have a whiff of her about it.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
I just want to pull the cord on the belt and see what it does. Activate an ejector seat? Summon the butler? Trigger a scatological sound that a twelve-year old would find deeply hilarious?
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
Wait, no, THESE are the butler pulls. Maybe the other thing just yanks out her intestines.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
Where is Sharon Stone when you need her? Actually, she was off doing something in Italy, I think, when she had two weird health episodes and got hospitalized. Hopefully Sharon Stone is now off recovering so that when this dress is ready, she can cape it up like a boss.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
I like to think this is what Joan Collins wears as a nightie.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
Again... it's not that I don't like this, but this collection feels endless and often identical to me. Cohesive, sure, but to the point of becoming a blur.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
Johnny Depp also might gravitate to this. It's Fancy Pirate and he's definitely at least part-swashbuckler on a DNA level.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
Sexy Western is going to love this. Maybe it'll have to end up on Showtime.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
Dear Kristen Stewart: You've got a big, awkward press tour coming up. Want to divert attention from your relationship while also hiding your face? BINGO.
YSL Runway - Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring / Summer 2013
You know, maybe Sexy Western was the wrong call. Maybe it's all about feminizing the tale of Ichabod Crane. Clearly I have some work to do.