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in Chanel

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Benainous+Catarina/REX/Shutterstock (9666249ac) Penelope Cruz, Gala Dinner, Arrivals, 71st Cannes Film Festival, France - 08 May 2018 WEARING CHANEL SAME OUTFIT AS CATWALK MODEL *9327910ei

It took me a second to comprehend that the bottom of this is tassels, so there are THREE different materials at play. And in combination they make her look like a high-end jellyfish.

in Chanel

North America, Australia and New Zealand Rights Only - Cannes, France -20180509- Chanel x Vanity Fair Party During 71st Cannes Film Festival -PICTURED: Penelope Cruz -PHOTO by: INSTARimages.com This is an editorial, rights-managed image. Please contact Instar Images LLC for licensing fee and rights information at sales@instarimages.com or call +1 212 414 0207 This image may not be published in any way that is, or might be deemed to be, defamatory, libelous, pornographic, or obscene. Please consult our sales department for any clarification needed prior to publication and use. Instar Images LLC reserves the right to pursue unauthorized users of this material. If you are in violation of our intellectual property rights or copyright you may be liable for damages, loss of income, any profits you derive from the unauthorized use of this material and, where appropriate, the cost of collection and/or any statutory damages awarded

That is very delicate and flirty, but her shoes look like she stuffed Kleenex in the heels to make them fit, and it's toppling out.

in Chanel

71st annual Cannes Film Festival - 'Everybody Knows' - Photocall Featuring: Penelope Cruz Where: Cannes, France When: 09 May 2018 Credit: IPA/WENN.com **Only available for publication in UK, USA, Germany, Austria, Switzerland**

This, frankly, seems too slinky for a daytime photocall. I might have swapped things around and worn the previous slide to this, and saved this for the Vanity Fair dinner. This seems too nightie-inspired for midday. 

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/REX/Shutterstock (9666253ak) Penelope Cruz 'Everybody Knows' photocall, 71st Cannes Film Festival, France - 09 May 2018 WEARING VINTAGE CHANEL

However, I DO appreciate that the light gives her a way to show off the peacock tail.

in Alexandre Vauthier

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Jacques BENAROCH/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock (9667093t) Penelope Cruz and Asghar Farhadi 'On n est pas couche' TV screening, 71st Cannes Film Festival, France - 09 May 2018

I have no idea who made this; hopefully for Chanel's sake, it was not Chanel. [EDIT: It was not! Congrats, Karl. A REPRIEVE.] She looks so shiny and swaddled. I guess at least she can dry her tears on the bonus hanky.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Simone Comi/IPA/REX/Shutterstock (9666790d) Penelope Cruz Penelope Cruz out and about, 71st Cannes Film Festival, France - 09 May 2018

Here, she looks like she's walking off the set of an Agatha Christie murder mystery, Deadly Brie.

Javier Bardem

71st annual Cannes Film Festival - 'Everybody Knows' - Photocall Featuring: Javier Bardem Where: Cannes, France When: 09 May 2018 Credit: IPA/WENN.com **Only available for publication in UK, USA, Germany, Austria, Switzerland**

"The butler did it!!!!"

Penelope Cruz Has Gone Full Chanel So Far at Cannes
It wasn't her best idea.

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