Dakota Johnson in Armani Prive

I love the look on that girl's face because it reads SO very doubtful. I'm with her. I think the fringe on the top and the fringe on the skirt are too cutesy to be truly glamorous. And am I crazy, or has she popped a seam there around her calf?

Dakota Johnson et al

At any rate, THEN she hugged Leslie Mann and it unhooked the back somehow -- she discussed this in her speech, I think, noting that it wouldn't have been a huge disaster because the world is familiar with her boobs already. But, not ideal all around -- and in fact, even though I know her pose is awk because she's trying to repair her clothes, this cut does nothing for her.

Leslie Mann and Alison Brie (in Cushnie et Ochs)

While we're here, let's look at the two presenters who gave Dakota her statue. Alison Brie's hair i-- and face really -- is so good she might as well be a doll. Leslie looks pretty but I'm not wild about the top of her dress. And as for Alison, it looks poorly made from here...

Leslie Mann, Alison Brie

And from here, it's just.... look, this is one of those outfits that makes me advocate standing in front of the mirror and predicting EVERY POSSIBLE body movement you might make, to see if it makes things go wonkus. That dress looks like it was sewn by a person who has never used a needle before.

People's Choice Awards Fug or Fab: Dakota Johnson (And Friends)

Dakota didn't walk the red carpet -- several of the bigwigs didn't, actually, like Sandra Bullock -- and I have to say, I find that frustrating. It's the People's Choice Awards. It may not feel like a real award ceremony, but I BELIEVE all the winners have been pre-notified? Regardless, if you are nominated by fans for an award VOTED on by fans, and you have won it, then walk the freaking red carpet as a thank-you to the people that put you there. It's not a lot to ask. Maybe her ensuing wardrobe malfunction was the universe giving her a karmic rap on the knuckles. [Photos: Getty]