Miley Cyrus
When you have a dress that's essentially acting as your bra, it seems like people go one of two ways: boob pancake, or a total surrender to gravity. This one actually might be balancing things well: Everything is supported, but nothing is overly squished. I can't believe I'm spending a whole slide discussing Miley Cyrus's chest. Let's get out of here.
Miley Cyrus
The rest of this is maybe... kind of... really not terrible. It might even look good on her. And I might love the electric pink shoes. At this point, I was on board this train and settling in for my free cocktail (you know the Cyrus Express is loose with the booze). But then, hark, what's that I spy on the side?
Miley Cyrus
Well. That's awkward.
Miley Cyrus's Thigh
And it kind of looks like something excavated from Superman's Fortress of Solitude. It's rainbow Kryptonite. Its powers are making parents cry and children spend their allowance on branded t-shirts. It also is very baffling. To me. Mostly because that sheer panel goes REALLY HIGH. I recently bought a dress -- on sale, fortunately -- that seemed like a reasonable length but when I sit down it rides up so far that ... well, that I basically can't wear it anywhere that I'll need to sit. And the top hem of the sheer panel goes WAY HIGHER than that dress's hem. So. I'm forced to conclude she brought a dish towel to drape over her seat.