Zendaya in Valentino

First, for those trying to parse it, I BELIEVE this is either a full bodysuit or a top and tights, with shoes over it that also have the same V logo printed on it (which also appeared on some models' faces during this season's show, which you'll see later). This is one of those cases where Zendaya looks FABULOUS even though the outfit is ridiculous. Her head-styling is immaculate, and the jacket is excellent on her. The rest looks more like Valentino for Victoria's Secret. Honestly, Zendaya is more interesting than being turned into a Valentino billboard (all those LOGOS everywhere), but I guess if you're at the show that's part of the assignment.

Florence Pugh in Valentino

Flo makes walking in those shoes almost look fun. I LOVE her cape.

I'm substantially less excited about the minidress, but maybe that's because I can't imagine wanting to wear something that I'd have to tug down every five seconds.

Flo in Valentino

She wore this to the dinner afterward, and her face and hair are SUPER. I might've been in with this, except the lack of lining is kind of boring. I just don't find underpants stylish. USEFUL, yes.

Simone Ashley in Valentino

Well that's perplexing. I feel like I am on a Honeymoon with her.

Brooklyn and Nicola Peltz Beckham

These clothes are not making me feel bullish on Valentino this season.

Madelaine Petsch

DRAMATIC.

Dove Cameron in Valentino

That makeup is REALLY trying to make the suit feel less Sophia Petrillo.

Dove Cameron in Valentino

I'm glad she didn't do that same makeup approach with this twee thing, or else she'd have gone full Living Doll.

Christine Quinn

That top is doing what every bathing suit did on Love Island this season: making pancakes, and very little else.

Erykah Badu

Let's remake City Slickers, but with Erykah Badu as one of the group, in this exact outfit.

Doja Cat in Monot

SURPRISE. It's Doja Cat. She is making some DRAMATIC choices right now, almost like she's picking up where Gaga left off. I objectively do not like any of this -- she's like if a seatbelt became sentient -- but I am fascinated by the airbrushed makeup on her face. Honestly... it makes her features somehow resemble Tori Spelling somehow?!?!?!?

Doja Cat in Givenchy

I'm jumping out of show sequence just to show you her other look. Is it weird that I'm more fixated on what her bottoms are doing in this shot than on her makeup? When you zoom in, the lips are almost tortoiseshell and it's very nifty. Unsettling from a distance but intricate up close. It's the opposite of a Monet.

Leonie Hanne in Monot

A lot of models came to this show, too, wearing a version of this. Leonie is a representative sample. I took pity on all of our souls and only downloaded this one dress experience.

Ariana DeBose in Monot

Ariana's face is like, "I don't know why I agreed to this, but... I'm gonna roll with it?"

Shailene Woodley in Monot

Shailene's face says, "Is this my brand now?"

Kat Graham in Monot

Kat's face suggests she MIGHT not know her nipple needs to be tucked ever so slightly back inside. Just a wee.

Alton Mason

He looks like he should be in a Lil Nas X video.

Christine Quinn in Schiaparelli

Lord. This all tracks. She'd wear that to Publix.

Dove Cameron in Monot

I have indeed fallen into The Matrix, I think, because that's a very reasonable ensemble for a Monot show.

Sarah Rafferty in Elie Saab

I assume Elie Saab's collection was called, "An Exploration of Body Hair."

Eva Longoria in Elie Saab

A formal shorts suit seems almost like a relief.

Monica Bellucci in Elie Saab

Someone commented last week that Isabelle Adjani looked like Monica Bellucci, and it was true, and now I want a movie that Parent Traps these two.

Olivia Rodrigo

Slip dresses seem to be her aesthetic of the moment. I would wish for a more interesting contrasting coat.

Maisie Williams

She would have been good casting for one of Eleven's lab cohorts in Stranger Things, all grown up and escaped and doing her own thing across the country. I guess we can still dream?

Karlie Kloss in Givenchy

So are heel bunions hot for next year?

Noomi Rapace

Her heel bunions hurt so much, she shredded her skirt.

Madelaine Petsch in Givenchy

Somewhere the ghost of Audrey Hepburn is like, "What in the NAME OF GOD is happening at Givenchy?"

Kanye

He has looked better.

Brooklyn and Nicola Peltz Beckham

This is honestly the most interesting she's ever looked. She got basically the only good outfit in the Givenchy lot.

Evan Mock

This guy is a former model, and can often make ridiculous stuff look good, but... not today, sir. Not today.

Emma Chamberlain in Loewe

Oh, please, Leona Lewis was making her own mouth-bodice dresses back in 2011.

Kylie Jenner

And Carrie Bradshaw danced around in Hanes before Kylie was even BORN. (Okay, no, but it FEELS LIKE IT.)

Hari Nef in Loewe

Well, it's... buoyant?

Daniel Levy

Astroturf sneakers? Sounds right.

Emily Ratajkowski

And what in the world is THIS dumb ass outfit? By which I mean...

... her outfit LITERALLY has a dumb ass. WHY.

Paris's Front Rows Heated Up With Doja Cat, Zendaya, and Miss Flo

Yes, that's Doja Cat on the right.