Camping With Kate!

"And I was all, 'I am NOT wearing your old musty tiara, Camilla, I don't care WHAT kind of mystical mojo you think it's got. I mean, right?"

This week, on Camping With Kate!, every Wednesday at 8pm on BBC America.

Camping With Kate! Part 2

VERY classy, but maybe a little snooooooooooooooooooooooooooze? How about a little lippy, Kate? This is why I am an avowed enemy of camping.

Trooping The Colour

"Y'all are STILL coming out to say hello to me? Okay, if you say so. I didn't even get a new outfit for this!" (This is what she wore to the Royal Wedding, after all. Ditto William. I hope someone had to talk Kate out of repeating THAT outfit, too. "No, seriously, ma'am. That dress is, er....packed away."

Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie

I just decided Beatrice spent this entire carriage ride complaining that her peripheral vision is all screwed up, until Eugenie just leaned over and pinched her, REAL HARD.

Camilla and Kate

"One day, I'll teach Camilla how to wave without obscuring everyone's view of her face," Kate thought. "On the other hand, maybe she just doesn't want everyone to know she's wearing a sea anemone on her head AGAIN."

Prince Harry

"Sure. Everyone THINKS I'm ruminating on serious matters, like the future of the empire, but I'm really just planning how best to annoy my family members later today."

Bea, Harry, Eugenie

"COME ON. She can't see ANYTHING happening on that side of her head! IT'S FUNNY. God, you have no sense of humor."

Trooping the Colour

"And then Eugenie pinched me, Grandfather. REAL HARD. I deserved it."

The Duchess of Cambridge at Polo Beaufort Polo Club

This look really, really suits her. She looks like a Ralph Lauren ad. Also, yes, those are her Wellies, as seen in the camping shots. Allegedly, they are leather-lined. I really want some leather-lined Wellies. Because here in Los Angeles, you TOTALLY need those.

Prince William Kisses His Puppy

Well. I mean. I can't. I just can't even stand it. It's like they're just screwing with us now.

Harry Loves Babies

Harry LOVES this baby -- he has cuddled with her before -- and I have finally figured out that she is his cousin, Savannah Philips. Per these photos, he let her put on and take off his helmet several times, and he also played peek-a-boo with her using a blanket, and was all snuggly and cute with her. There are few things cuter in the world than a grown man delighting in the company of a baby.

The Royal Junk

On the other hand, there are many things cuter than a grown man readjusting his junk. Maybe he's just aggressively tucking in his shirt! Maybe tuck less aggressively in public, Harry. Just a suggestion from that cranky old crack-pot American blogger you may eventually wed in a scandalous Vegas drive-through wedding during which you -- BUT NOT I -- are sort of tanked. You will thank me later!

Played, Royal Family

I don't know how the Queen does it. I'm exhausted just thinking about all the hoo-ha over which she's had to preside the past year, and I don't even have to leave the house or put on pants to do it. I suppose it helps that she never has to figure out what to serve for dinner or wonder if she's out of coffee, or realize on a Sunday afternoon that OMG she forgot to pay her quarterly taxes. Still. So much running around for this family lately; we haven't seen this much of them...well, ever. ANYWAY. In this episode of The Royal Family, everyone celebrates Her Maj's "Official Birthday" (I don't get why they don't celebrate her birthday on her actual birthday but I am of course a commoner), Kate goes camping, Prince Philip proves a tough old codger by rolling out of his sick bed to hang out with his old lady, Wills kisses a puppy, and Prince Harry continues to Make Mischief, up to and including adjusting his royal junk. [Photos: Getty, Splash, Wenn]