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Idina Menzel, Kristen Bell

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Broadimage/REX/Shutterstock (9883592g) Idina Menzel and Kristen Bell National Women's History Museum Women Making History Awards, Los Angeles, USA - 15 Sep 2018 2018 National Women?s History Museum - Women Making History Awards

This photo cracks me up. Elsa is clearly so busy regretting not taking her pants to the tailor -- she is, ahem, frozen, if you will -- that she doesn't know Anna has snuck up behind her. This is hopefully about to take its rightful place on Kristen's and Dax's mantelpiece or piano, because it's an amazing stalker photo.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Broadimage/REX/Shutterstock (9883592i) Idina Menzel and Kristen Bell National Women's History Museum Women Making History Awards, Los Angeles, USA - 15 Sep 2018 2018 National Women?s History Museum - Women Making History Awards

However, all was shortly well, and they later hugged. Kristen looks pretty cute in that weird shapeless green sack. WHO KNEW.

Issa Rae

LOS ANGELES, CA - SEPTEMBER 16: Issa Rae attends Glamour x Tory Burch Women To Watch Lunch on September 16, 2018 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Emma McIntyre/Getty Images for Glamour x Tory Burch )

She glows.

Jackie Cruz

The Variety and Women in Film Emmy Party Featuring: Jackie Cruz Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 16 Sep 2018 Credit: Apega/WENN.com

This is Black Swan via the Real Housewives.

Jackie Tohn

The Television Academy honours Emmy-nominated Performers Reception at Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts in Beverly Hills, California. Featuring: Jackie tohn Where: Beverly Hills, California, United States When: 15 Sep 2018 Credit: Tony Forte/WENN

I like this wacky plaid confection.

Janet Mock

Variety And Women In Film's 2018 Pre-Emmy Celebration Featuring: Janet Mock Where: West Hollywood, California, United States When: 16 Sep 2018 Credit: FayesVision/WENN.com

That is VERY pretty, and so delightfully tactile. I don't like the shoes with it -- imagine a metallic! -- but at least this is 80 percent great.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Rob Latour/REX/Shutterstock (9883657bk) Janet Mock BAFTA TV Tea Party, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 15 Sep 2018

Janet! You had those shoes all along and you didn't wear them with the purple dress?!? Did you think they would save you from the sad sleeves of doom here? THEY DO NOT.

Jeannie Mai

-Los Angeles, CA - 9/15/2018 Entertainment Weekly Pre-Emmy Party 2018 -PICTURED: Jeannie Mai -PHOTO by: Sara De Boer/startraksphoto.com -SDL_32676 Startraks Photo New York, NY For licensing please call 212-414-9464 or email sales@startraksphoto.com

I have spent a lot of time largely ignoring Jeannie Mai because as a TV host she is not my cup of tea, but I couldn't turn a blind eye to her terrible pelvic triangles. Ironically, though, they may be MAKING me blind, so I guess we both lose.

Jenna Dewan in Galvan

The Variety and Women in Film Emmy Party Featuring: Jenna Dewan Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 16 Sep 2018 Credit: Apega/WENN.com

This doesn't necessarily look bad, but I just feel as though if I were to reach out and touch the skirt, it would be made of thick jersey. Like this came right out of a Stitch Fix box rather than from a stylist.

Jenna Elfman in Mary Katrantzou

The Variety and Women in Film Emmy Party Featuring: Jenna Elfman Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 16 Sep 2018 Credit: Apega/WENN.com

Don't look so distressed, Dharma. Your crackpotty dress is aided immensely by the footwear.

Jennifer Morrison

-Los Angeles, CA - 9/15/2018 Entertainment Weekly Pre-Emmy Party 2018 -PICTURED: Jennifer Morrison -PHOTO by: Sara De Boer/startraksphoto.com -SDL_32862 Startraks Photo New York, NY For licensing please call 212-414-9464 or email sales@startraksphoto.com

Ah, J.Mo, you're back. I've missed your inane sense of style, although those earrings make this whole thing WAY better than it has a right to be.

Jillian Bell and Ben Schwartz

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Broadimage/REX/Shutterstock (9884627al) Ben Schwartz and Jillian Bell Showtime's Pre Emmy Party, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 16 Sep 2018 2018 Showtime Emmy Eve Party Red Carpet

I thought maybe these two were dating, but they are just starring in a Showtime show together. I guess that doesn't necessarily mean they aren't ALSO dating, but I have no intel there. Her dress looks depressingly like a bunch of dish towels.

Joey King

The Variety and Women in Film Emmy Party Featuring: Joey King Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 16 Sep 2018 Credit: Apega/WENN.com

My child, your shorts should not be basically the same length as your jacket.

Jonathan Van Ness

Variety And Women In Film's 2018 Pre-Emmy Celebration Featuring: Jonathan Van Ness Where: West Hollywood, California, United States When: 16 Sep 2018 Credit: FayesVision/WENN.com

That outfit (minus the boots) feels like someting Martha Stewart would love, and I don't know that this is considered a compliment. I also can't help wanting to shave his face. The mustache is so heavy! He looks like Kenneth Branagh as Hercule Poirot. (I just watched that movie, so the 'stache is very close to my mind right now.)

Judith Light

Variety And Women In Film's 2018 Pre-Emmy Celebration Featuring: Judith Light Where: West Hollywood, California, United States When: 16 Sep 2018 Credit: FayesVision/WENN.com

Angela Bower is All. Business.

Justin Hartley

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Rob Latour/REX/Shutterstock (9883657ag) Justin Hartley BAFTA TV Tea Party, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 15 Sep 2018

I'm not totally sure if the jacket fits. He is, however, still a delight to me.

Katherine McNamara

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Broadimage/REX/Shutterstock (9884627a) Katherine McNamara Showtime's Pre Emmy Party, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 16 Sep 2018 2018 Showtime Emmy Eve Party Red Carpet

It's so nice of her to bring her Land's End bikini top to an Emmy party.

Kelly Jenrette

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Rob Latour/REX/Shutterstock (9883657at) Kelly Jenrette BAFTA TV Tea Party, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 15 Sep 2018

She already lost the category in which she was nominated (guest actress, for Handmaid's Tale I believe), so hopefully that means she can wash that off and just RELAX. She certainly is radiant in this.

with Melvin Jackson Jr.

Variety And Women In Film's 2018 Television Nominees Celebration, sponsored by Cadillac and Heineken, at Cecconi's in West Hollywood, California. Featuring: Kelly Jenrette, Melvin Jackson, Jr. Where: West Hollywood, California, United States When: 15 Sep 2018 Credit: Sheri Determan/WENN.com

I would be so much more on board with this if the bra kept itself hidden.

Keri Russell

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Stewart Cook/REX/Shutterstock (9884413ae) Keri Russell Vanity Fair and FX Networks Emmys Party, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 16 Sep 2018

I want cooler shoes, and hair that doesn't look like she rode over with the sunroof open, but the dress is fab on her.

Vanity Fair and FX Networks Emmys Party, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 16 Sep 2018

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/REX/Shutterstock (9884598r) Keri Russell Vanity Fair and FX Networks Emmys Party, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 16 Sep 2018

And I guess comes with an inflatable seat cs

Kiersey Clemons

Variety And Women In Film's 2018 Pre-Emmy Celebration Featuring: Tessa Thompson Where: West Hollywood, California, United States When: 16 Sep 2018 Credit: FayesVision/WENN.com

The way that satin bubbles on the sides is HIGH among the reasons it's irritating as a fabric.

Kristine Leahy

-Los Angeles, CA - 9/15/2018 Entertainment Weekly Pre-Emmy Party 2018 -PICTURED: Kristine Leahy -PHOTO by: Sara De Boer/startraksphoto.com -SDL_32900 Startraks Photo New York, NY For licensing please call 212-414-9464 or email sales@startraksphoto.com

She almost always wears something that is weirdly uneven, or too short, in a way that threatens a crotch-flashing. Someone needs to have a Come to Jesus with her about that. Maybe that someone is ME, TODAY. KRISTINE. It is, among other things, A VERY BORING TIC.

Laverne Cox in Michael Costello

The Variety and Women in Film Emmy Party Featuring: Laverne Cox Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 16 Sep 2018 Credit: Apega/WENN.com

Wow. What an awesome, foxy suit that quit its job halfway through its contract to run off and learn the art of fortune telling.

Leslie Grossman

-Los Angeles, CA - 9/15/2018 Entertainment Weekly Pre-Emmy Party 2018 -PICTURED: Leslie Grossman -PHOTO by: Sara De Boer/startraksphoto.com -SDL_32789 Startraks Photo New York, NY For licensing please call 212-414-9464 or email sales@startraksphoto.com

I hope it doesn't bother her when people scream, "MARY CHERRY," at her, because whenever I see her photo, I think, "MARY CHERRY!!!!!!" She looks awesome here.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Stewart Cook/REX/Shutterstock (9884413am) Leslie Grossman Vanity Fair and FX Networks Emmys Party, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 16 Sep 2018

I can't decide if I like this pattern or not, but... my confusion about what it even IS might be tipping me toward liking it MORE. That is dysfunctional, but so is my brain lately. I spent like eight minutes trying to remember Ellie Kemper's name.

Leslie Jones

LOS ANGELES, CA - SEPTEMBER 15: Leslie Jones attends the 2018 Pre-Emmy Party hosted by Entertainment Weekly and L'Oreal Paris at Sunset Tower on September 15, 2018 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Donato Sardella/Getty Images for Entertainment Weekly )

I want a little hoik here, a narrower slit there, and we're fine. 

Lindsay Price in Monique Lhuillier

-Los Angeles, CA - 9/15/2018 Entertainment Weekly Pre-Emmy Party 2018 -PICTURED: Lindsay Price -PHOTO by: Sara De Boer/startraksphoto.com -SDL_32706 Startraks Photo New York, NY For licensing please call 212-414-9464 or email sales@startraksphoto.com

It took me a second to realize she only has one arm band on this. WHY does she only have one? It would actually look better with both.

Lucien Laviscount

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Rob Latour/REX/Shutterstock (9883657cu) Lucien Laviscount BAFTA TV Tea Party, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 15 Sep 2018

I had to look him up (he is on Snatch, and was in Scream Queens), but freely admit I made sure to include him because his name is AMAZING.

Lucy Hale

The Variety and Women in Film Emmy Party Featuring: Lucy Hale Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 16 Sep 2018 Credit: Apega/WENN.com

That's a cute dress that could use better shoes and a bracelet, but whatever. Just put that on my tombstone.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Michael Buckner/Variety/REX/Shutterstock (9884414t) Lucy Hale Showtime's Pre Emmy Party, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 16 Sep 2018

SURE FINE WHY NOT. (You can also put THAT on my tombstone. It's going to be a very big one, or else use a tiny font.)

Lynn Whitfield

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Rob Latour/REX/Shutterstock (9883657ay) Lynn Whitfield BAFTA TV Tea Party, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 15 Sep 2018

Oh, that is... so much. I hope she's planning to do an interpretive dance as a bird.

Madchen Amick

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Broadimage/REX/Shutterstock (9884627u) Madchen Amick Showtime's Pre Emmy Party, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 16 Sep 2018 2018 Showtime Emmy Eve Party Red Carpet

WHAT SAD LYNCHIAN HELL IS THIS.

Madeline Brewer in Preen

The Variety and Women in Film Emmy Party Featuring: Medeline Brewer Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 16 Sep 2018 Credit: Apega/WENN.com

It looks like she's using a weird torture device to ensure her dress has some sideboob.

The Television Academy honours Emmy-nominated Performers Reception at Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts in Beverly Hills, California. Featuring: Madeline Brewer Where: Beverly Hills, California, United States When: 15 Sep 2018 Credit: Tony Forte/WENN

That's a hard MEH from me.

in Paco Rabanne

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Broadimage/REX/Shutterstock (9883915z) Madeline Brewer Bafta TV Tea Party, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 15 Sep 2018 BAFTA Los Angeles + BBC America TV Tea Party

Her style is ALL over the place.

Marsai Martin

-Los Angeles, CA - 9/15/2018 Entertainment Weekly Pre-Emmy Party 2018 -PICTURED: Marsai Martin -PHOTO by: Sara De Boer/startraksphoto.com -SDL_32952 Startraks Photo New York, NY For licensing please call 212-414-9464 or email sales@startraksphoto.com

Whereas hers is impeccable, and she's a kid. I do hope she's not forcing herself into heels too often. She's so young!

with Marcus Scribner

LOS ANGELES, CA - SEPTEMBER 15: Marcus Scribner (L) and Marsai Martin attend the 2018 Pre-Emmy Party hosted by Entertainment Weekly and L'Oreal Paris at Sunset Tower on September 15, 2018 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images for Entertainment Weekly)

These two are a snazzy delight.

Marcus Scribner

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Rob Latour/REX/Shutterstock (9883657ce) Marcus Scribner BAFTA TV Tea Party, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 15 Sep 2018

I am not sure either one of us is fully embracing this coat.

Natalia Dyer

The Variety and Women in Film Emmy Party Featuring: Natalie Dyer Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 16 Sep 2018 Credit: Apega/WENN.com

Oooh, that is cute.

LOS ANGELES, CA - SEPTEMBER 16: Natalia Dyer attends Glamour x Tory Burch Women To Watch Lunch on September 16, 2018 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Emma McIntyre/Getty Images for Glamour x Tory Burch )

But oooh, those pants are not. The shaggy hair does her no particular favors, either.

Noah Schnapp

The Variety and Women in Film Emmy Party Featuring: Noah Schnapp Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 16 Sep 2018 Credit: Apega/WENN.com

AHOY, FUG NATIONAL IN TRAINING.

Padma Lakshmi in Rubin Singer

The Variety and Women in Film Emmy Party Featuring: Padma Lakshmi Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 16 Sep 2018 Credit: Apega/WENN.com

This looks like whoever made the bodice just glued a bunch of folds into it and then called it a night.

Pre-Emmy Parties, Part 2: I-Q
Starring Idina, Kristen, Madeline, Marsei, and two Jennas.

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