Aria
This dress is what Andie from Pretty In Pink would've designed if she'd grown up and gotten a job at Betsey Johnson. In many ways Annie Potts' character from that movie feels like Betsey Johnson plus a touch of multiple personality disorder, so it all ties together.
Jenna
I would apologize again for spoilers, but this episode is like a month old. Anyway, Sightless Jenna is now Sighted Jenna, and she decided to throw herself a birthday party that had a hat requirement. As you do. Actually, maybe I will.
Sighted Sightless Jenna
Oh, honey. Kate Middleton would never wear someone ELSE on her head.
Melanie Mayron
I just wanted you to know that kooky Melanie Mayron is working on this show, playing Kooky Photographer who has what looks like a candied horse head on her lapel. That's very Godfather, or more accurately, Godfather Candy Shoppe.
Hanna
I don't know where I fall on the floral pants. I just bought some polka-dot skinny jeans that I'm still not quite sure about, although that might also have to do with the fact that instead of LOSING weight for the summer, I have been watching all the Olympians be super fit and toned and cut while snacking on my couch and making ice cream. So. It may be a while before I decide if I like my pants, and by then they'll be out again. I'd better have a daughter someday.
Aria
In addition to her thick leggings and long sweater/tank, you will notice that Aria is about to don a pair of floral Doc Marten boots. After which she is going to go stand in an elevator in Seattle and wait for Matt Dillon to get in and say gesundheit when she sneezes.
Aria
Honey, if you don't want us to look, don't wear floral Doc Marten boots. I am always going to look at those and think of flannels.
Hanna
This dress, I read (on Possessionista, I think) is from Zara. It's cute on Hanna, but I think the belt was an addition. That, or else even SHE is not sure how she felt about those pants so she cut off a leg and repurposed it. It's cute. Also, apparently she's dating Toby (who, when he's not blurry, looks like a young Joaquin Phoenix) in real life, and I kept wondering if that started when they had to pretend to be a couple here.
Spencer
I like this shirt (from Anthro) on Spencer...
Spencer
... but from the waist down she looks like a newsie. It's totally HER, but it also feels kind of disconnected from the fancyness of the shirt.
Hanna
Meanwhile, Aria is wearing neon pizza slices on her ears and Hanna seems to be in a lavender and coral bathrobe.
Hanna
The fact that I think the blouse WAS shot through with that color makes the pants seem less random to me, but it was also a blinding amount of clashing neon in one look. And I'm not just saying that because my camera flash is also currently impairing my eyesight. ALSO, I suddenly want an umbrella stand. It seems so classy, if ultimately only useful three times a year here. Like fireplaces and coats.
Spencer
I LOVE the bike pattern on this shirt. Spencer totally scores the best patterns.
Aria
Aria also scored a cute one here -- it's all pocketwatches and stuff -- but the peplum dress and belt feels a lot more Hanna to me. I also love that Aria is glaring at this fringe purse, all, "How does this thing work again? Why did I buy it? I keep getting it caught in car doors and under my shoes."
Hanna
NO, HANNA. Save the buckled life preserver for one of your dresses.
Hanna
I SAID NO, GIRL. This is so unflattering that I think your waist just wrote you an angry letter.
Aria
Conversely, THIS shirt and belt, I LOVE. Especially the belt. Belts make me look huge, which is sad, because I want to wear this tomorrow. Too bad for Emily, though, that my affection for this top on Aria did not preent me from noticing that her shirt looks like a D- in Home Ec.
Hanna
What season is it in Rosewood? One minute everyone was in bathing suits, Emily is wandering around with no shoulders on her shirt, and Hanna was JUST in her fancy-dress linebacker outfit of a miniskirt and a sleeveless nightmare, and yet here she is now in black tights, a long satiny skirt, and long-sleeved layers. Does A have a climate machine? OMG, is A actually Dr. Doofenshmirtz?
Spencer
Another cute pattern, this time of birds. Caleb apparently appreciates it also. I'm VERY CONCERNED that he and Spencer are going to Develop Feelings. I was kind of invested in Hanna and Caleb, and... wait, I'm at the point where I'm about to talk about PLL characters like they are real people. The thing is, the relationship stuff is the ONLY part of that show I can keep straight in my head. I don't know who's hiding what secret for which blackmail purposes, or why they think the dude killed Alison, but I totally know where everyone's tongue has been and should go.
Aria
They did a thing where Aria borrowed this from Spencer so she could impress Ezra's parents (listen, precious child, there is no way they were going to like you BECAUSE YOU ARE SEVENTEEN AND HE DECIDEDLY IS NOT) but it looks pretty on her. And doesn't look like something Spencer would necessarily own, given that Aria has a bigger chest than she does, and it would be totally baggy on Spencer. In life I seek boob realism, evidently.
Aria
It also has a bit of a sexy open back, considering that she wants her boyfriend's rich and mean mother not to think she's a crazy deluded teenager. I feel like, in this situation, open back equals I Am Probably Having Sex With Your Son And He Could Get Arrested For It Tomorrow If My Dad Wanted, whereas something a little less interested in trumpeting her lack of bra would have said, "Are We Having Sex? I Have Plausible Deniability On That Subject." This is not a cardinal life rule, just a guideline for if you are sleeping with your ex-teacher and got him fired from his job at a college BECAUSE HE IS AT LEAST 24 AND YOU ARE NOT EVEN LEGAL YET.
Hanna
This is what Hanna wore to try and make a plea on someone's behalf to the insane asylum doctors. Mysteriously, it worked, despite them wondering if she should be committed for seasonal confusion.
Hanna
This is the shirt that was UNDERNEATH the jacket. It's basically a lace bag. You could stuff it with pot pourri and put her in your underwear drawer and then your smalls would smell like a garden. Which would come in handy, because eventually you'd have a dead girl in there and you'd need to counterbalance the odor.