Robert Pattinson (in Dior) and Suki Waterhouse (in Saint Laurent)

All these dudes who wear their pants loose and long end up looking like they shoved their feet into some slippers to take out the trash at night. Meanwhile Suki's outfit looks like it shrank itself to her. However, this does not mean it averages out! That's not how this works!!!

Also her hair looks rained on, which is a shame, but they seem pretty happy together. My cold dead heart is at least lukewarm.

Phoebe Bridgers in McQueen

This is, and I mean this with my whole heart, unbelievably fugly. She looks like she's playing Jane Bennet in a soft-core Jane Austin production, Ride and Prejudice.

Stars, they're just like us! They're chill about standing around in INCREDIBLY tiny underwear and signing autographs for fans!

Merritt Wever

Merritt does not have time for such nonsense. (Great dress, great lip, GREAT Resting Irritated Face, A+.)

Skyler Gisondo

He has one of the most amiable faces in the business.

Bokeem Woodbine

And I am always happy to see Bokeem Woodbine in anything. He looks slick.

Bokeem Woodbine

Excellent jacket, sir.

Skyler Gisondo

This sweet summer child.

Phoebe Bridgers

This is hysterically prim compared to the other outfit. Now she looks like Jane Bennet at the funeral of a dowager for whom she served as a companion, and whom she secretly hated and hopes left her a trinket she can sell.

Merritt Wever

She's the one reading the will. She has NO patience for them all fighting over vases and china.

Robert Pattinson Kicks Off His Oscar Campaign in Venice

For Primetime.