> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Recap: Victoria Is Mad Fertile (S1, E7) - URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/recap-victoria-is-mad-fertile-s1-e7/ - Published: 2017-02-20T19:30:14.000Z - Updated: 2017-02-20T19:06:32.000Z - Author: Heather - Tags: Victoria, #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:49 ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-1487570074.jpg) Poor Victoria's firstborn spawn makes its presence known when she gets queasy during a command performance of chamber music. She has to get up and dash out, which screeches the proceedings to a halt. "I AM BILIOUS!" she yelps at Lehzen, and you had better believe I'm going to start using that. Pretty much everyone in the room knows that the Queen has popped off for a quick vom, and what it likely means. Even Wellington. Victoria and Albert seem to be the ONLY people who aren't the least suspicious. He acually appears to think she is dying. ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-4-1487550140.jpeg) Fortunately, post-bilious eruption, Victoria can resume pinky-twiddling with Albert while they listen to a concert. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-6-1487550164.jpg) "I'm... I'm... THERE IS NO POLITE WAY TO SAY IT." "With child?" "YES EW GOD THERE IS NO GREATER CURSE IN THIS WORLD. WELCOME TO THE FIRST YEAR OF MY LIFELONG ENSLAVEMENT TO IRRITATING SMALL PEOPLE." "You're magnificent." "UNLESS I DIE UGGGGH THIS IS THE WORST." ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-7-1487550175.jpeg) It's reasonable that Victoria, very sheltered, would be nervous about dying in childbirth given that she's only queen because someone ELSE died in chlidbirth. But she can't even fake being happy about it. Witness here the joy NOT present in her face when she tells her privy council about it and all the old white men applaud her uterus. ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-8-1487550188.jpeg) "You must only eat MAJOR ANIMAL ORGANS. Brains, livers, hearts. Also don't laugh. Babies hate laughter. Also don't travel, or move at all ever while you are awake." Victoria's mother is bonkers. But full of advice. Where was SHE when Lehzen was offering Jump On Your Chaise After Sex as birth control? What next? Lick a horse's tail? Rotate a goat every second Sunday? Tickle yourself thrice in one armpit daily at sundown? Thank God all I had to do was lay off the Diet Coke and wine. ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-9-1487550199.jpeg) Albert reassures Victoria that she's probably not going to die, and that he's still going to want to bone her prodigiously even after she's grown swollen with their uterine beast. He also wants to play with trains, and possibly start a REALLY REALLY European boy band, but we'll get to that. ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-10-1487550211.jpeg) Their pillow talk is, amusingly, all about which regions of England contribute what to the economy -- an issue on which Albert appears to be better-versed than Victoria. He gets her to agree to a caravan to other counties, and she agrees, mostly because she's sick of people telling her what to eat and what she can't do -- but also because it's been pointed out to her that she needs a regent in case she DOES expire in childbirth, and she needs to drum up support from the stuffy landed gentry for Albert to be said regent. If he gets to sniff out some progress, well, that's a side effect. ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-11-1487550223.jpeg) Lehzen gets to come, because she is deemed indispensible, but the poor Duchess of Sunderland has to stay behind and babysit Victoria's mother. Oh, she pretends it's fine, and makes some crack about how her husband won't even notice -- and her every other scene involves her casting longing, furtive glances at random photos dotted around the manse of Albert and Ernest. This show is really not adept at subplots. ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-12-1487550233.jpeg) I just thought this shot -- of Victoria about to barf all over her blue velvet cloak -- was very well-framed, with the guard visible behind them. Good visuals can make up for a lot, although by and large this show does still seem like the $10 version of *The Crown.* ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-13-1487550243.jpeg) This is a much better view of the coat. It's also a moment in which we see that Victoria still views Lehzen as essential; Lehzen even runs after her and pops up an umbrella in case Victoria needs cover while she is bilious. Take THAT, Albert. Your sausage CAN'T do everything. ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-14-1487550256.jpeg) I really do think he's in an '80s music video. Yes, he resembles Prince, but I feel like he could also be the lost member of A-ha, whom Morten Harket kicked out before the band got really important, or something. ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-15-1487550267.jpeg) Victoria gets a very nice green dress for this dinner with their snooty hosts, who look down their fancy noses at Albert, and whose staff messes with Albert's valet -- a round-cheeked Germanic Branson type -- to try and make an ass of Albert. Fortunately, Mrs. Jenkins sniffs that out and puts a stop to it. There's also some slapping of Asshole Butler by Herr Branson. I find Bransonhoff very sympathetic, in a way, but I can't figure out why Eve Myles -- she of *Torchwood* \-- has such a tiny and largely dull part. Isn't she probably more famous than this? I didn't even screen-grab the slapping. That's how little I am conditioned to care about Downstairs. ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-16-1487550285.jpeg) Victoria's coat here is magnificent. ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-17-1487550297.jpeg) As is this view. Oh to amble through the countryside in a hat with a strong personality. ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-18-1487550308.jpeg) Robert Peel, who lives nearby, has a locomotive just casually kicking about on his land. Albert wants to play, but V puts the kibosh on it, because she senses that the aristocracy isn't going to embrace him if he's both forward-thinking AND German -- besides which, she thinks they'll hate that he shows enthusiasm and says what he means and means what he says. And sure enough, their host lectures Peel about how Albert CANNOT be made Regent LEST PEEL LOSE HIS POSITION blah blah blah Peel is clearly super unimpressed with this rich-person threat. ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-19-1487550393.jpeg) Meanwhile, Lehzen is comparing Peel to a giant stuffed frog she once saw in a museum in Salzburg. I would very much like to see this frog. But Lehzen's imitation of it sends Victoria into fits of giggles. Poor Lehzen. This is an inside joke that will not last as long as she hopes. ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-23-1487550445.jpeg) And then Albert gets up in the morning, sneaks out while Victoria sleeps, and rides Robert Peel's locomotive without permission. "Ich bin der König der Welt!" he screams as he wraps his arms around Kate Winslet. ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-24-1487550460.jpeg) "Do you like me?" "Yes." "But like... do you *like* me, or are you just using me for my body?" "I really like you." "Okay then. I also like you." "Okay." "Okay." ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-22-1487550428.jpeg) "O WOE MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN GONE LO THESE TWO HOURS WITHOUT A WORD. MUST I BEAR THIS FERAL SPAWN ALONE FOR ETERNITY?????" ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-25-1487550471.jpeg) When Albert returns, sooty but exhilarated, Victoria tries to tamp down his spirit but he points out that England is HIS country now and he wants to connect with it. Progress! Railways! Cetaphil! THINGS, VICTORIA! THINGS!!! ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-26-1487550483.jpeg) And so Vic shows up the next day for a spin on Thomas the Tank Engine, and once she sees local peasants waving gleefully at her, she realizes both the exhilaration and the power of being able to travel by train about all corners of the nation. So all the wealthy landowners who don't want the countryside cut through with train tracks can suck it. (Actually, one of the things I love best about being in the UK is all the rail and Underground travel, so THANK YOU, Albert, and I guess Victoria. Sorry, landowners. But you still have massive tracts, so.) ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-27-1487550496.jpeg) Their host enjoys his marvelous view, unmarred by things like roads and steam engines. Until WHAT HO he spies Victoria in the distance joy-riding on Robert Peel's hobo wagon. SPIT TAKE. ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-29-1487550519.jpeg) These two are so hot for progress. ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-21-1487550415.jpeg) Skerrett, meanwhile, is giving Francatelli advice on all his desserts. He makes hot chocolate for the Queen, and she's all, "Oh, dip a biscuit in it." He makes a sundae, and she's like, "This would be way better with hot chocolate on it." Skerrett's first name by birth is Nancy, but her real name is You Know What You Should Do. (Mr. Penge, though, has noticed the blossoming romance and his lonely romantic heart approves.) Skerrett is also a master embroiderer. Is it weird that I want this to have a terrible ending? Maybe she loses a hand in a tragic sewing accident? It's so pat otherwise. ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-28-1487550509.jpeg) Francatelli makes Skerrett a very fancy dessert indeed: ice cream covered in frozen hard chocolate. She's all, "You know what you should call it? Bomb Surprise, because it looks like a bomb, but it's a surprise, HA HA HA." And Francatelli gazes woozily at her and coos, "*Le Bombe Surprise*," which is a real dessert with no known provenance. Y'all, apparently Skerrett invented every dessert you have ever liked. Francatelli is woozy with love, but does not kiss her or even ask her to run away with him and invent Oreo cheesecake. ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-30-1487550529.jpeg) What a nice painting that is totally NOT AT ALL passing for b-roll of Victorian England. ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-31-1487550544.jpeg) Peel shows up, and poor Lehzen tries to recreate the joy of the private joke ("The frog is here! He wants to croak at you!"), but Victoria won't have it now that Albert and Peel are in a deep bromance. Lehzen looks as if she were slapped in the face by a fish. Anyway, Peel tells Vic that he has wrangled full support for Albert among the Tories. The governent would be happy to have him as Regent. Victoria replies that it's welcome news indeed, although immaterial, as she is too busy to die. Peel lets out a blast of laughter. His accession to Lord M's spot is all but assured, and we fade out on Vic and Albert clutching at her womb while also working together on all her papers well into the night. There is no aphrodisiac like discussing the geographic intricaties of British cotton production. [Recap: Victoria Rides a Train and Gets Pregnant (S1, E7)The two are not related.![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2017/02/victoria-recap-season-1-episode-7-6-1487550164.jpg)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/recap-victoria-rides-a-train-and-gets-pregnant-02-2017/)