Jennifer Lopez in David Koma
"Lovers. You might look at this and think, 'Jenny, you have fallen off of your block. Why are you wearing a bra with a bib over it?' But what you do not understand is: EVERYTHING. My movie is about a tender young man-stallion -- a BABY, lovers, if you will -- becoming captivated by a deep and powerful beauty. This bib is SYMBOLISM. But then I had to cut the lining out of my skirt because my LOOKATME balance was off."
Jennifer Lopez in David Koma
"And here, lovers, actually my regular balance was just off."
Jennifer Lopez
"WELL IT'S ABOUT TIME LOVERS."
Jennifer Lopez
"Now that I am Queen I can start showing Kate Middlebrow how it is REALLY done with coats and long bangs and belts and ANKLETS and things. She has so much to learn, lovers, if she would let The Lopez be her guide."
Jennifer Lopez
"One coat going in, one coat coming out that is even better. I DEFEAT YOU KATE MIDDLEMARCH."
Jennifer Lopez
"Here I am trying to look like I was not surprised to show up to Live With Whoever to find out that Regis is now a very teeny blond person named Kelly. I do not remember this happening. So brave. Also, please appreciate my Kate Middleshoes. I should write a book so that she can read it out loud to her fancy children, and they will grow up knowing the legend of me is REAL."
Jennifer Lopez
"This is not me, lovers. This is my drunken body double who I pay to trick picture-takers into following me around New York while I am inside doing yoga and meditating with my mantra, #YOLOPEZ. Because, lovers, you can only Lopez once."
Jennifer Lopez
"Lovers, I was so happy then. I am steamed now. NOBODY TOLD ME IVANA TRUMP IS NOT A THING ANYMORE."
Jennifer Lopez
"Shh, don't tell, lovers, but I am going to set fire to the person who put me in this. Wait, no, I just meant fire that person. Out of a cannon. Into a building that I set on fire moments earlier."
Jennifer Lopez in Christian Siriano
"Yes, lovers. I know. Someone else wore this first. But what is a 'Maggie Grace'? Is she that yappy person on the news channel? It doesn't matter. The Lopez is the sun, and everyone else is the stuff that dries up and cracks when I shine on it."