Jennifer Lopez in Zuhair Murad
"Hola lovers. Officer Lopez reporting for SEXY."
Jennifer Lopez
(This is me interrupting to point out that while the blouse and pants make me laugh, that goat is GORGEOUS and major and MY GOD her daughter is going to inherit some amazing stuff.)
Jennifer Lopez in Paule Ka (pants), Milly ("shirt"), Noon by Noor (coat)
"Lovers, if there is anyone to tell you what True Love is, it is The Lopez. Sometimes True Love is a dancer. Sometimes True Love is a vampire. Sometimes True Love is a gambling manchild whose hair REALLY NEEDED YOUR HELP YOU ARE WELCOME PLUGFLECK. Sometimes True Love is wearing three things that are blue but maybe not the same shade of blue and which also make you look like somebody's fancy-dress prisoner and sometimes True Love is doing something creative with a necktie instead of bothering with an actual shirt and sometimes True Love is paying somebody to make sure you do not remember you ever wore something and so I might True Love somebody on Team Lopez very soon."
(Thank you to our friends at Red Carpet Fashion Awards for piecing together the IDs on this sucker.)
Jennifer Lopez in Emanuel Ungaro
"Lovers, you may ask, 'Beautiful queenly hero of mine, why are you wearing a turtleneck and a very big thigh slit?' And lovers, the answer is simple: because it is very COLD with the big thigh slit. There is no other answer that does not reduce The Lopez, and The Lopez will not be reduced."
Jennifer Lopez in Valentino
"Dear Kris Jenner: You love these little girl dresses. So do I. GOOD LUCK KEEPING UP WITH THE LOPEZ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAH True Love buy it."