Bey-Z
I CANNOT imagine how irritating those shoes were on grass, but this photo does make me laugh. (I also, interestingly, read a whole thing by the Anti-Defamation League about whether the OK symbol is still, well, okay, or whether it's been appropriated by white supremacists. I am accusing Beyonce of nothing, obviously -- I only googled it because I was wondering if she was using it as a giant F YOU to gross assholes, or if she was just being goofy and using it too mean 'ok.')
with Diddy
"Sean, sometimes it brings me peace to survey the land around me while holding my glass of my favorite... um, whatever this is, I forgot to find out who our sponsors are... and wonder about when Serena will win that major."
Rihanna in Bottega Veneta with T.I.
As usual, Rihanna's head is perfection, and her outfit is terrible. This is allegedly Bottega Veneta, but it's the same vibe as the Fenty stuff she recently wore, where the dress was short and tight and the shirt-style jacket was meant to fall off her shoulders. Rihanna is nothing if not a creature of aesthetic habit, I've noticed. It was satiny slip dresses for a while, then it was GIGANTIC POOFY THINGS, and now it's this, over and over.
I mean. Whatever mansion this was, it's beautifully appointed.
Big Sean
Here we have the instragram fan, which looks like peacock tailfeathers if you stand as he is.
Big Sean with Jhene Aiko
"No, right here, Jhene. I have scouted this lawn for two hours and THIS is the best squatting bush in the place. Just stand there and let me do my thing."
James Blake, Jameela Jamil
"JAMES. What do you MEAN you didn't look for a squatting bush?!? Now we're just in front of a TREE, like PHILISTINES." (Also Jameela's suit is somehow both good, and also like she had a huge accident changing a Xerox toner cartridge.)
Winnie Harlow
It is bold to have people posing over a mirrored floor while in skirts.
Kelly Rowland
"I believe that 2020 is the year that boob scrunchies will really take off."
Dua Lipa and Hailee Steinfeld
The tiny tiny purse next to the oversize suit is making me laugh. I actually think Dua Lipa looks fairly cute, aside from how I am never into sports bras as shirts. Hailee also looks fine, I suppose, but also like Princess Leia became a TV detective.
Lana Del Rey and Ne-Yo
Ne-Yo seems like a very happy, charming person, and if 2020 takes that away from me I will be very annoyed. I don't love Lana's dress but my main takeaway is that I have decided after much consideration that she needs to shake up her cat-eye liner habits.
The Jonai
Joe Jonas is like, "Is it PJs or is it a suit? YES." Kevin Jonas is thinking, "Am I the underrated Jonas? DISCUSS." Nick is all, "I prefer all my tops to look like they're choking my windpipe."
Get those sponsor dollars, y'all. I assume they had DJ Khaled yell out the booze name a few times.