Prince Harry Visits Chile - Day 1
I feel like this is the visual that is going to appear when the REAL Prince Harry is beamed in by satellite to the I Wanna Marry Marry house, like Julie Chen on Big Brother. "Houseguests," he'll say, "this tragic half-wit in your midst is NOT Prince Harry. I am Prince Harry, and I don't plan to marry any of you! Well, maybe you over -- no. No, never mind, none of you. I SAY GOOD DAY." And then he will disappear. (Note: The IWMH recaps WILL return. We got run over by a book deadline and then Heather skipped town [on vacation, not forever. (I HOPE)] but she's going to finish them out.)
Prince Harry Visits Chile - Day 1
Here, he's popping in to visit with Chilean President Michelle Bachelet to discuss suit buttoning and unbuttoning technology. (Or, you know, affairs of state or whatever. I don't know.They don't send me the press releases. I have to just make my best guess.)
Prince Harry Visits Chile - Day 1
One of the many many many reasons it's good that I don't go out and great official personages is that my reaction to this would be, "those coats are SO JAUNTY!" All of America would be like, "...I mean, at least she's enthusiastic."
Prince Harry in Chile
This is going to be the cover of his authorized unauthorized biography, I Got Out Before It Got Too Harry.
Prince Harry Visits Chile - Day 1
Per Getty Images, "Prince Harry takes part in the kids' games as he visits kindergarten of indigenous children." There are like COUNTLESS versions of this picture from this event and they're all cute. I feel like by this point, whoever does his scheduling is just like, "yeah, Harry's coming to town. Do you have any kids hanging around? ...No, it doesn't matter. Just doing whatever they're doing at the moment is fine. Drawing? Great. Swimming lessons? Sure. Making mini pizzas? Fantastic. Using tiny saws on clay blocks? Sign him up."
Prince Harry Visits Chile - Day 1
The children then obviously gave him a horn, and I sincerely hope that when he gets home, he breaks into Wills's and Kate's bedroom and wakes them up by blowing this right in their royal ears. SHENANIGANS WILL BE HAD. In a sense, I feel like giving Prince Harry a horn is the equivalent of when, say, someone's Auntie gives a child the ABSOLUTELY LOUDEST and most delightfully obnoxious toy she can find, because children love loud and obnoxious toys, and said Auntie knows that she gets to go home and leave it behind to subtly torture her friends, not that I have ever done that.
Prince Harry Visits Chile - Day 1
This is not dignified.
Prince Harry Visits Chile - Day 1
Yet more children's games. I can only assume this is a golf or croquet-like game that involves whacking at a ball with a mallet, which is always entertaining in part due to the ever-hovering chance that someone will get smacked in the noggin.
Prince Harry Visits Chile - Day 1
After the childish gamboling, there was weaponry. It does make sense that one would get to eyeball sniper rifles when one visits with -- per our sources -- "members of the Chilean Special Operations Brigade." I like to think that although this photo makes them look like they're talking about army-related gun stuff, they're really chatting about how best to get one's beret as jaunty as possible.
Prince Harry Visits Chile - Day 1
Chilean Special Ops also gave him a ceremonial knife. Between that and the horn, someone's next trip to Vegas might get EXTRA CRAZY.