Letizia and Felipe

Look at these two lovebirds, clutching at each other! Never forget how much we loved spray-tan in 2004; never forget how much more dashing Felipe looks with a beard. Fun fact: The internet tells me that they managed to date IN SECRET for a year and then their engagement was "a surprise" to the public. That is impressive, if accurate.

Letizia and Felipe

I can never resist a dramatic overhead shot! This is the Basilica of the Virgin of Atocha in central Madrid, a church that was destroyed during the Spanish Civil War in the 30s, and rebuilt in 1951. Fun fact: This is Letizia's second marriage (she married her high school sweetheart after ten years of dating, and then they got divorced basically immediately), but because that was only a civil marriage, the church was not fussed.

Letizia and Felipe

Y'all. There was SO much fussing over her train from these very costume-y looking bridesmaids. (They are -- per an old Hello! article I read -- her friends, but they look so young!) I cannot find anything on the internet that explains that these are traditional outfits, and if they are not, I do have some questions.

Letizia

I'm relieved to see that Letizia's ALWAYS had that, "shit, did I leave on the margarita machine??!!" expression we see so often nowadays. I think she has Resting I Just Remembered Something Face. (She definitely also got a nose job between this and now; her original nose is great, but whoever did the rhinoplasty also did an excellent job.)

TIARA TIME: This, the Prussian Tiara, is the same tiara that Queen Sofia wore to marry Felipe's father (they got married in Greece, where she is from, and I feel like we'll also definitely cover THAT wedding). It's got a very interesting history. Also: this mantilla she's wearing is gorgeous.

Letizia and Felipe

Truly, unless there is a cultural explanation for these bridesmaids, it does sort of feel like Letizia is just OBSESSED with Dangerous Liasions.

Letizia and Felipe

Her gown, though, is a stunner. The collar is such an interesting detail. It was designed by Manuel Pertegaz, who was asked to take over Dior in the 60s (but refused because he wanted to stay in Spain) and who also designed for Jackie Kennedy and Audrey Hepburn.

Letizia and Felipe

I cannot resist a dramatic church exit.

Letizia and Felipe

"This train is really much more unwieldy than we'd been led to believe."

Letizia and Felipe

"It's so heavy. Do we have to carry this EVERYWHERE?"

Letizia and Felipe

"WHEN DOES THE PARTY START?"

Letizia and Felipe

It's funny; the collar of this gown almost gives it a slight Business Flavor in this shot, which works perfectly for the Queen whom I think most often looks like she might also be a Deputy District Attorney.

Spain Royal Wedding

This GIANT SHOT lets you see the little pageboys and flower girls, who are adorable, and also how many people opted for massive hats upon this day. Why is there so much orange?

Queen Sofia and Felipe

To the guests! Both Queen Sofia and Princess Elena, Felipe's sister, wore the traditional mantilla, which I think is fabulously dramatic. As a child, I had a doll that wore a black lace gown and a long black mantilla and she was QUITE GLAMOROUS. She caused a great deal of drama for my Barbies.

Princess Elena and Jaime de Marichalar

This is the look of a woman who is going to fuck some shit up at your charity gala! (She is older than Felipe but not the heir due to their primogeniture laws at the time; that has to gnaw at a girl.) (These two are divorced now.)

Princess Cristina and Inaki Urdangarin

Felipe's other sister passed on the mantilla, but her dress obviously has a large lace component. He's a former handball player. Together? They committed a whole bunch of fraud!

Princess Pilar and King Juan Carlos

Princess Pilar's whole look here feels very Queen Mum to me. She, however, only just died like two months ago. She's ALSO older than he is and cheated out of the throne by sexism. Her Wikipedia is low on the drama scale; there may have been some light tax evasion, and also she was supposed to marry Baudouin of Belgium (Philip's uncle) but when she went to go meet him, he fell for her friend Fabiola. Whoops! This is all for the best because Baudouin...really did some stuff.

Princess Mathilde and Prince Philippe

Speaking of Belgium! They always look exactly the same.

This wedding, unlike other royal ones, also seems to have had a roving photographer snapping people in their seats, which is amusing. Phillipe and Mathilde here are seating next to Prince Moulay Rachid of Morocco.

Princess Martha Louise and Ari Behn

Princess Martha Louise has truly got an eye for...something. This is....not...good. I feel like Ari Behn's face here communicates that he knows it, too.

Princess Caroline of Monaco

Doesn't she look terribly irritated here? STOMPING INTO THE WEDDING IN HER CHANEL.

Prince Albert

Here, on the other hand, you can see that Albert was rather dashing once.

Princess Alexia and Carlos Morales Quintana

I cannot imagine she looks back at this choice with fondness. HE'S, per Wiki, an "architect and yachtsman," SHE'S part of the deposed Greek royal family

Princess Rosario and Prince Kyril

This hat is huge, but honestly I think this look has aged beautifully and you could wear this today. She's an art consultant, a former muse to Valentino, and the owner of a company that "cultivates legumes." They're estranged now, but still hang out even though she's dating a younger Albanian artist. This is very cosmopolitan!

He, on the other hand, has a degree in physics from Princeton and briefly dated Brooke Shields when they were students together, and is now dating a British art historian (he likes artistic women, apparently). Said current girlfriend lives in this amazing house and was involved in a lengthly legal battle about Chinese porcelain. 

Princess Claire and Prince Laurent

I quite legitimately and sincerely love this trench.

Grand Duke Henri and Grand Duchess Marie Teresa

This necklace choice was a real one!

Queen Sonja and King Harald

Remember white pantyhose?

Nelson Mandela and Graca Machel

He looks like himself; Grace looks super in this.

Jordan's Queen Rania

This skirt looks like two curtains gone wrong. (This whole look feels very inspired by Sharon Stone's famous  -- and great -- White Shirt to the Oscars look, although that was in 1998.)

Jordan's Queen Noor

This coat is really beautiful; she has a lived a life, that's a dishy autobiography that I want.

King Carl XVI Gustaf, Queen Silvia and Princess Victoria

As I noted in an earlier slideshow about...something from this time period....this portion of the Aughts brought us a lot of Asian-inspired fashion.

Prince Carl Philip and Princess Madeleine

I do not know who the third party is here, but Madeleine looks pretty dishy in her giant hat. (It's NOT her first fiance.)

Max and Wax

SPEAKING OF GIANT HATS.

Max, Naruhito, Haakon

Max and Prince Crown Naruhito are OFTEN hanging out at these events; Mette-Marit was also present but I forgot to download a photo of her. She looked mostly normal and had a hat that looked like a curious feather.

Inaara Aga Khan

This look is TOO MUCH and also she has since -- I THINK? Her Wiki page is a little confusing on this point -- returned to going by Gabrielle, now that she and the Aga Khan are divorced after he had an affair with a flight attendant.

Queen Margrethe II and Prince Henrik

(a) This wedding, as the wedding of the heir, got GOOD turn out. (b) Can ANYONE see past that hat, Margrethe?!

Chaz

Hey, look who came to one of these!

Royal Wedding Rewind: (Then) Prince Felipe and Letizia Ortiz

This one has a LOT of train-wrangling.