Kate Middleton

This was, essentially, the first view we got of Kate as she was hustled into the car from her hotel, under cover of a giant white tenty-tarp thing. This was the first of many times when I yelped, "CAREFUL," and then lamented to Jess how EXTRA terrifying that must be, because if one person steps wrong or you scoot improperly or your dad careens into the car behind you, things could be ripped or smudged or knocked asunder before you even GET to the church. Which is stressful enough when you AREN'T in front of a million cameras.

Kate Middleton

Apparently, Kate's parents gave her the earrings as a wedding present. They looked lovely with the tiara and the gown. Well played, Middleton Parents.

Kate Middleton

I wonder if they didn't have Kate do the stiff royal wave because they wanted to milk the Girl of the People angle, so as to keep her relatable to the masses and also relaxed in front of them. Or maybe the Queen is just bored of it.

Kate Middleton

Kate had a funky Rolls Royce Popemobile that she and her father got to ride in, with a clear back that allowed everyone a look at the bride with her veil as she headed to Westminster Abbey. Genius idea, because I was sort of pitying all the people who were starved for excitement and might only get a glimpse of the roof of a car. And in part I counted myself as one of those people even though I was in Jessica's living room in a comfortable chair, and not on a chunk of grass rubbing up against a stranger.

Kate Middleton

The Pope is totally all, "Okay, there is no reason why I can't have one of those. GOD WOULD BACK ME UP ON THAT."

Kate Middleton

When she got out of the car, we saw the full gown: Very simple, full skirt, kissed by lace details that echoed the bodice, and a long but not a chapel-length one like Diana's. But can we seriously stop and talk about the flowers? It's not that she needed to carry an entire flower shop, but she's marrying a future king: Should I be able to see her plastic handle? NOT A EUPHEMISM.

Kate Middleton

When we saw this, we felt like... on the left you had The Duchess By Day, and on the right, you had The Duchess Before Getting Her Cambridge All Duked Up, nudge-nudge. Seriously, Pippa has the figure for it, but that seemed rather too slinky for the occasion and I like to imagine that poor Carole Middleton had to sit there avoiding eye contact with the Queen because she'd just KNOW QEII was composing a tersely worded letter of disapproval.

Kate Middleton

Sigh. Weddings are pretty. Although as I noted on our live-blog -- or was it our Twitter? What day is it? Where am I? -- the last royal wedding i watched was the Moldavian massacre on Dynasty, which was not so much pretty as full of blood and death. So this one was always going to be much nicer.

Kate Middleton

Love this shot of her throwing one last glance over her shoulder as the veil blows in the breeze.

Kate Middleton

Also love THIS shot, as if it's one last sober and symbolic look at the life she's leaving behind. Although I am probably overthinking it and she is just checking to see if it looks like rain.

Kate Middleton

This overhead of the train affords a view of what I thought was lace detail but might actually be just a light pattern on the fabric of the gown. I don't know. I'm lucky I can see at all at this point.

Kate Middleton

I also love this shot. It looks like Wills and Pa Middleton are meeting for the first time. "Hi, sir. I'm William. I've got a job and several houses and more money than hair on my head, so she'll be all right."

Kate Middleton

There were a lot of stolen glances during the wedding, where he'd be gazing at her and half-smiling, and she'd sense it and look at him, and then they'd laugh, and the whole thing was so much warmer and more comfortable and loving than Chuck/Di or Andrew/Fergie. I feel like these crazy kids might actually make it.

Kate Middleton

"Sigh. Nobody told me how BORING royal weddings are."

Kate Middleton

"Do you have any snacks in your pants, darling?... OH DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, I just want some nuts, or a tube of Polo mints, or a pastille to suck on... STOP LAUGHING."

Kate Middleton

Married, and finally done with all the religious stuff! Let the snacking commence.

Kate Middleton

"Wait... we got MARRIED. HOLY SHIT."

Kate Middleton

Aw, but something tells me these kids can make it work. Piers Morgan was convinced both balcony kisses were the most passionate in the history of the world -- sorry, Princess Bride -- and that they were meaningful and historic and monarchy-saving and life-altering. I think Piers may have been drunk. As should I be, since it's 7 a.m. and I officially haven't slept in 24 hours. Here's hoping Wills and Kate don't do much sleeping tonight. OH YES I DID. Happy wedding, folks.

Royal Weddingpalooza: Well Played, Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge

As I write, I have not yet slept, but I don't think my judgment is impaired: Kate Middleton -- who will, for better or worse, always be Kate Middleton to me -- looked utterly, utterly stunning. I can't imagine a higher-pressure situation, and she responded gracefully and with tremendous poise and dignity, and she smartly went with simplicity and classicism over the meringue and the sparkle and the ornate detail we remember from Diana and Fergie's weddings: The dress was a streamlined, modern take on Princess Grace's iconic gown, beautiful on its own, uncomplicated but not boring, and on her it truly made Kate the jewel. Do you want to split some hairs, now that I've gone all gushy? Okay: The bouquet was an afterthought that could've, nay should've, been a little livelier (although all will pale in comparison to Lady Di's cascade). The makeup was a bit more noticeable than it might've been. And she looked tired. Do you think she slept at all, or do you think she lay awake all night rehearsing the schedule in her mind and wondering whether she needed to set YET ANOTHER iPhone alarm or if she remembered the right bra or whether she has an eye-pencil sharpener or what she should eat for breakfast that she wouldn't barf up on the way to the Abbey? I hope she ordered tea and a chocolate croissant and then took a Xanax. Because, Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, you'd better get a good night's sleep while you can: pregnancy rumors inevitably will start post-Honeymoon.