Wills and Kate RUGBY HUG

These two are ALWAYS huggy at sporting events and obviously it makes me want to barf (read: I love it so much). So snuggly and handsy. I hope they do exactly this the next time they're all out on the Buckingham Palace balcony. JUST GIVE INTO THE LOVE, YOU TWO. CANOODLE ATOP THE VERY SYMBOL OF THE MONARCHY. Do it for crown and country!

Wills and Kate RUGBY HUG II: HUGS AHOY

WILLS: Kate, you are a precious treasure to me. I want to hold you close forever. My love for you is like a river. It has no beginning, and no end. It flows as the --

KATE: Mmm-hmm, yes, me too, love you so much, but also look up, Babykins, because it seems like the security detail in front of us is currently raising the roof. Wills. William. William, look at him. Wills, you're missing it.

Wills and Harry Ruggy Hug

"Oooooh, don't pout, you big baby. I love you, too!!"

The Trio at England v Wales

This was the start of the match -- I assume they're either singing the Welsh national anthem or God Save Gran. For your information: Harry is honorary president of the World Cup and the vice-patron of the England team, and ergo is cheering for them, whilst Wills is V-P for Wales. (Apparently, Wales came from behind with something like four minutes to go to beat England, so I hope SOMEONE took Red Beard under her comforting bosom in this time of his loss and assuaged his pain.) I believe Kate is rooting for Wales because she put five hundred pounds on them to win the last time she was out shopping and if it doesn't come through, Wills is going to be super peeved.

The Trio at England v Wales

This is the freeze-frame they're going to use for the closing credits of their TV show, as they all burst into gales of laughter after having successfully thwarted yet another evil mastermind who thought he could ruin the Rugby World Cup by unleashing a horde of Dementors. Wait. That's something else.

The Trio at England v Wales

For a long moment, I thought Harry had tucked a hand towel into the waistband of his jeans. (It's really the long-sleeved tee he's got tied around his waist.) Whatever he's done, Kate finds it DELIGHTFUL and William is mildly disgusted.

The Trio at England v Wales

BEHOLD THE PANTS! They feel very much From The Closet of Queen Letizia (or perhaps Emma Stone). Send her some shoes, too, Letizia! I enjoy a Sassy Trouser.

The Trio at England v Wales

HARRY: WHAT THE F$%%^&K JUST HAPPENED! WHY? WHY DOES NOTHING GOOD EVER HAPPEN TO ME? CAN'T I HAVE NICE THINGS? WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE, YOU FOOLS?!?!?! I hate everyone. Why did I even come back?

WILLS: ...I am not entirely sure how to respond to this.

KATE: Ooooh, the ride home is going to be so awkward. And yet I find myself entertained. Is that terrible?

WHAT?

HOW DID THIS GET IN HERE?

Royally Played: Wills and Kate and Harry at Rugby

We cannot really see what they are wearing at all -- I was going to theorize that, for all we know, Kate is wearing a pair of leather booty shorts and thigh-high gold lamé boots with the words "DROP DEAD" emblazoned on them, spelled out in diamonds she's secretly pried from the crown that the Queen wears on the money. But I've since gotten some late-breaking intel (i.e, just saw a photo which you will ALSO soon see) that she actually IS wearing crazy (for her) pants. I LOVE crazy pants; I hope we're entering a world of Wacky Trousers and Wild Patterns. All that being said, I think what we are all really here for is SPORTS FACES and also SPORTS HUGS, and I can bring you both. Also, The Beard has lived to see another day. (My working theory is that Harry's going to shave when the Queen returns from Balmoral, which is generally in early October. My working PRAYER is that he lets it flourish FOREVER.) LONG LIVE THE BEARD! [Photos: Getty]