Wills and Kate
This was at the swimming yesterday and I like to think Kate's hand on William's knee is to reassure him that although she gasps and fans herself and yelps every time a Speedo-clad swimmer hauls his hot, chiseled form out of the pool, he is still her lobster.
Wills and Kate
KATE: MY GOD, look at those abs! IS HE EVEN REAL?
WILL: Precious treasure, you're crushing my hand. But you're right. Those are really impressive.
Wills and Kate
I'm sure someone is writing something now that says EVIL WILL DRAGS SAD KATE AROUND BY LANYARD IN TRAGIC COMMONWEALTH GAMES POWERPLAY but that someone will not be me, because this really makes me laugh.
Wills and Kate and Prince Edward
I think it's patently obvious here that Kate just figured out who, exactly, she plans to set Harry up with.
Prince Harry
Luckily, he is taking care of that all by himself TODAY. (As we move onto today's photos, of which I downloaded a frightening amount.) This feels very, "Why, hello. I see you're wearing a beret. I often also wear a beret. Would you be interested in coming back to my palace for a drink and to, uh, look at my beret collection?" And she's all, "yeah, you know what? I totally would."
Prince William
"ONE DAY I SHALL BE RULER OF ALL I SURVEY." (Or maybe this is just his best George impression.)
Kate, Harry, the Police
This is the slide where I traditionally compliment the photographers sent out to cover this event for the good work they did. (The photogs covering the royals always do a legitimately great job and they make my job much easier and I appreciate them.) In short, this picture is awesome.
Kate Arrives Today
Oh, right: Clothes. This dress is Stella McCartney and we have seen it before, of course. Here, getting off the place with George The Magnificent, and then here, walking out of a doorway. (That doorway is decent, too.) (Additionally, this is A WHOLE OTHER blue blazer than the one she wore yesterday. I can't wait until she attends a variety of events wearing the exact same outfit composed of technically different items. My kingdom, and probably most of my wallet, for a week of blue-and-white-striped shirts.)
Prince Harry
I guess if you're attending a major sporting event, you should do some lunges in case your cheering gets overly athletic. Maybe he just wants to demonstrate for us how nicely the 5% spandex in his jeans is working out for him.
Harry, Kate, and Wills
"See the guy in the kilt next to me, Kate? Almost wore that today. That would have been awkward, right? Right?"
Harry, Wills, Kate, Usain Bolt
WILLS: Then he let us take over his Tinder, Usain.
USAIN BOLT: That seems like a terrible idea.
HARRY: OH MY GOD IT WAS.
Wils and Harry Wrestle
This seems about right.
Kate
So, after the boys were made to wrestle for her favor, Kate was forced to take part in her own feats of strength and magic, such as levitating balls. (There's a really dirty joke in there somewhere that I will not try to dig out, mostly just because my coffee hasn't kicked in to the point where I could make it funny and still be a lady.)
Prince Harry
"KATE! I TOO can levitate! LOOK HOW RELAXED AND ASSURED I SEEM HERE!"
Harry and Kate
"Pretty sure you married the wrong brother now, huh? My work here is done. "
Kate Jumps
Then Kate had to levitate HERSELF over three cans, a feat which the photo captions note is technically "the South African game of Three Tins", and all I know is, I would be thinking, "THANK GOD this skirt isn't going anywhere. Why didn't they make me do this yesterday, when I was wearing jeans?" BECAUSE THEN IT WOULDN'T BE AS IMPRESSIVE, KATE. Duh. Sometimes, it's like you're new.
Kate
"YAY ME."
Kate
"I didn't fall down in these huge shoes and break an ankle and cause an incident that would really throw an unexpected wrench in the question of Scotland's independence I CAN SLEEP TONIGHT." (Note: I actually own those shoes and I just tried to jump over something of that same approximate shape -- fine, it was a giant candle from Crate and Barrel -- and it was not as easy as it seemed.)
Prince Harry
Obviously, Harry could not resist a chance to go over and be adorable with small people. Everyone loves a high-five. I love sassy little Miss Side-Eye in the front row there. SHE'S not all that impressed.
Wills and Kate
"OKAY WE'RE LEAVING NOW."
PS: Never let it be said that I resisted a chance to show you a photo of any one person's butt. I can only hope and assume that will one day be my epitaph.