Prince Harry

Harry popped out today to the UK team trials for this year's Invictus Games, a place where his beard is welcome and no one is going to ask him WHEN HE'S GETTING MARRIED ALREADY.

Prince Harry

Welcome back, you charming ginger. I've missed you, and so has Royals Round-Up.

Prince Harry

Come on, sister, Get in there. I don't know if you are single or like men, but if you DO, don't you think "Prince Harry falls in love with Winsome Invictus Games Trainer" is a great story? DON'T YOU? DO IT FOR US.

Prince Harry

This woman is taking place in team trial for wheelchair tennis, and I have to say that I would ALSO be interested in a story where Harry falls in love with a spunky wheelchair tennis ace who has a rad sleeve of tattoos.

Prince Harry

This man is "Cain Berry, performance support manager for the Tennis Foundation," and he is ALSO attractive. It seems that eeryone at this event is appealing.

Prince Harry

"And, ultimately, I feel that Milton's portrayal of Eve, while historically in line with seventeenth century mores regarding women, also manages to assign her more agency than -- wait. What? Where am I? DAMMIT."

Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank

Eugenie is wearing a leather dress! It's very saucy; I like it. That's her long-time boyfriend, Jack, and when is the British press going to assign HIM a rude nickname for having hung in this long without a ring, I ask you? Anyway, they are attending "the launch of GP Nutrition Supplements, a collection of five premium nutritional programmes perfect for modern living." Because of course they are.

Chaz and Camz

Meanwhile, Chaz and Cams are at the reopening of Wilton's Music Hall. Informative Caption tells us that "The Duke and Duchess will meet with historians and architects involved in the venue's recent repair project. " Well, that seems entertaining! I'm not being sarcastic. I am into renovations.

Prince Charles

Charles also went to visit Middleport Pottery, where he "met artists, craftspeople and businesses who are making use of the pottery's renovated Victorian offices and workshops." Sigh. I wish I had a renovated Victorian workshop.

Prince Charles

I would hang this interesting....whatever this is....in it!

Queen Maxima in Etro

Over to the Netherlands where OH MY GOD MAXIMA WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

King Philippe, Queen Mathilde, King Willem-Alexander and Queen Maxima

This long-sleeved sequined frock is MUCH more to my liking, and also much less likely to induce seizures.

Mathilde and Philippe

Am I crazy, or has Mathilde's hair sort of mildly downgraded from its usual helmet? Has she been listening?

Princess Charlene

This haircut is SUPER SUCCESSFUL on Charlene, and, in fact, I love everything about this look, including that stellar red lip. (She's leaving the Monaco Cathedral during the Sainte-Devote festivities. Per Informative Caption, "Saint Devote is the patron saint of the Grimaldi family, reigning in Monaco, and is celebrated each year as a national holiday.") I read in People this week that Charlene, who converted before their marriage, takes her Catholicism very seriously and is quite devout. I think that is one of the reasons she looks so serious in this photo and the next, although I also think she has Resting Sad Face.

Charlene and Al

She's also REALLY into boots right now.

Princess Sofia

Sofia looks elegant here, leaving a memorial ceremony marking Holocaust Memorial Day.

Sofia and C-P

If Charlene is obsessed with boots right, Sofia is REALLY into navy blue. (As am I; I AM FEELING YOU, SOF.)

Crown Princess Victoria

A very cute coat on a very pregnant lady.

Queen Letizia

I love this pic. She's like, "HELLO! COME ON IN!"

Emperor Akihito and Empress Michiko

The emperor and empress of Japan are on a state visit to the Philippines right now, and you can't TOTALLY tell from this pic, but Michiko's jacket is actually part cape. It's quite elegant.

Emperor Akihito and Empress Michiko

And here, you also can't totally tell, but she's wearing a charming Black Watch plaid. I HEART IT.

Emperor Akihito and Empress Michiko

Empress Michiko is 81, and I think she's very elegant. She was the first commoner to marry into the Japanese imperial family (although she was, however, from a very rich family), and there was a lot of opposition to the marriage, both because she was Catholic, and because -- this is all per Wiki, of course -- her mother-in-law allegedly HATED HER and was mean to her all the time, although she is and always has been very popular with the public. Again, per the historians at Wikipedia, "She suffered from several nervous breakdowns because of the pressure of the media and, according to Reuters, the attitude of her mother-in-law, that have resulted in particular to make her lose her voice for seven months in the 1960s." I honestly could quote her Wiki for pages and pages; it's fascinating. As Empress, for example, she is "responsible for Momijiyama Imperial Cocoonery." She is a classical pianist! Etc! Anyway, she's also -- I think -- quite elegant.

Royals Round-Up, January 29th, 2016

THE BEARD ABIDES. Also, Maxima, what are you wearing?! And, elsewhere: -- European Queens Waged More Wars Than Kings, says The Science of Us. We ladies like to get things done, what can I say? -- People explains what was involved in some of the religious ceremonies performed by Prince Albert and Charlene this past week. -- Also at People, Pips just did this major ski race, and celebrated afterward with fondue. I support that. -- This is an interesting piece in The Telegraph about the work Camilla is doing for charities devoted to helping victims of domestic violence and sexual abuse. -- One of QE2's former press secretaries recently died, and his obit -- also in The Telegraph -- is very interesting. I love him for this alone: "With better locations [for press covering a royal event], the photographs and copy might have been more interesting." THANK YOU FOR THINKING ABOUT OUR COPY, SIR. -- The Sun has this whole piece -- and, you know, grain of salt and all -- about how Prince Harry is totes bummed now because everyone he knows is getting married and having babies and he's all byyyyyy himseeeeeeelf. -- This is from the Mail (I KNOW), but you probably want to read all about the auction they're doing of the Duchess of Devonshire's estate. WHAT SHALL WE BUY? (Also, it's really random that Madonna gave her a signed copy of The Year of Magical Thinking, which, by the way, MADONNA DID NOT WRITE. I get it, but...that's a strange gift. "Hey, I put a super chipper note inside this book that's SUPER UPSETTING." I mean, that is a great book but it's also a total bummer and full of people dropping dead, so sort of tone-deaf to give to, like, a 95 year old woman who's lost so many people in her life.)